- Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.
- Alan is appalled when Walden shows him the utterly abusive YouTube posts his former business partner Billy Stanhope keeps posting. Still, a relatively small bribe suffices for Alan to let him in. Walden's fury over such disloyalty is soon overtaken by Billy's Internet project, that could make them another fortune. Even Jake shrugs his head superiorly at the sight of the cocky rivals' petty dueling over everything. Meanwhile superfluous Alan naively offers a friendly service to Berta, who doesn't hesitate to charge him with a perilous debt payment delivery.—KGF Vissers
- "Two and a Half Men' - "The War Against Gingivitis" - Feb. 27, 2012
Alan is struggling to remember his password. Walden enters looking for dental floss. Alan has three kinds in his pocket. Walden helps him with his password.
Walden gets a Skype call from Bridget. His old business partner Billy Stanhope called her with a business proposition for Walden. He gets twitchy thinking about him. He tells her to tell him thanks but no thanks. After the call he thinks about Billy Stanhope and screams on the balcony causing Alan to shatter a plate in the kitchen.
He asks if everything is okay. Walden says it's fine. He explains they built a software company together and sold it for a couple of billion. Except Billy didn't want to sell and went crazy and posted his crazy rants about Walden on the Internet. He calls Walden a douche and a sell out and eats his picture. He also has videos where he literally "talks out his ass." Walden gets mad watching the videos and thinking about Billy. Alan says if Walden made him rich he'd lick him from head to toe.
The next day Billy shows up at the house. Walden slams the door in his face. Alan opens it. He calls himself Walden's confidante and mentor. Billy says Bridget mentioned him as "the leech." He asks if he can talk to Walden since he has another billion dollar idea. Alan invites him in. Billy spouts off some techno-babble and begs to talk to Walden for five minutes. Alan declines. He gives Alan 50 bucks. Alan goes to talk to him.
Walden is mad that Alan let him in. He says he was distracted by the words "billion dollar idea." Alan tries to explain and can't come up with the words. Walden comes up with them and realized Billy figured out something big they'd been working on: the electric suitcase. Billy wants Walden's help writing the code. Walden throws back his words in his face and asks for an apology. He offers one and Walden tapes it on his phone. Walden wants him to dance like a monkey. They then get into a physical fight which Alan tries to break up. Jake enters as they grapple and says "I'm getting too old for this crap."
Disentangled, Alan tries to get them to shake hands. They refuse and start to bicker again. They shake. They start to reminisce about old fights. And start bickering again. And apologize again. They agree to try working on it and make a plan and talk more technobabble, Alan pretends he understands. Alan offers to make cookies.
He then goes to the bar and talks to the bartender about being dismissed to 7-11 for Red Bull and Hot Pockets. He's sad because he thought Walden was his best friend and it turns out Billy is. He's sad because he doesn't have any old friends from high school or camp or anything. And Lyndsey's on vacation. The bartender is sad he has no friends and says she doesn't count. Alan goes to visit Berta.
Walden and Billy work on the coding in the kitchen and argue who has to pee more. They start downing Red Bull competitively and taunting each other about their "girly bladders." They continue to taunt each other and struggle.
Alan has brought Berta soup because she's sick. She feigns a cough. He says friends should take care of each other. She says he has been in her life longer than both her husbands and most of her underwear. They hug. She hands off a package to someone at the door and gets a big wad of money. She asks him to go to an address and hand off the envelope named Shermie, whom she owes money to.
Walden and Billy run out and pee off the patio balcony. While they're peeing Billy admits he's sleeping with Bridget and has been since they broke up basically. They start to fight again.
Alan runs to his car in from a house in a bad neighborhood yelling "that's all she gave me!" and as he drives away his back window is shot out.
When Alan comes home, pee stain on his pants, he finds Walden and Billy coding in the kitchen in bathrobes, both recently showered and still bickering. They all admit to having a little accident. They're about to test the first module. Walden presses the button and says "behold the birth of the Stanhope/Schmidt electric suitcase" and the lights go out. Alan is unimpressed. Walden asks him to name a state and he says "Florida." We see the outline of North America and the light wink out in Florida. Then Canada. Then the entire U.S. That's one powerful suitcase. They both say "awesome!"
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