Archer (TV Series)
Space Race: Part I (2012)
H. Jon Benjamin: Sterling Archer
Photos
Quotes
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Sterling Archer : I'm sorry!
Pam Poovey : For what? Space-blastering me in the frickin' tits? Or tricking me into that fart-locker to get blasted into outer goddamn space on the off chance you might wanna bang me?
Sterling Archer : Both I guess. Look...
Pam Poovey : After you blew me off for Katya the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss, uh...
Sterling Archer : R2-double-D2?
Pam Poovey : [chuckles] Nice.
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Sterling Archer : Fuck you, space!
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Commander Tony Drake : Is mutiny funny to you, Mr. Archer?
Sterling Archer : I don't know. Maybe a mutiny of clowns.
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Commander Tony Drake : I want to brief you all on what to expect when we dock with Horizon.
Lana Kane : Uh, can we expect a pharmacy?
Sterling Archer : Lana, it's not a strip mall. Although, I assume there's a bar.
Commander Tony Drake : A bar?
Sterling Archer : Or whatever, cantina?
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Sterling Archer : Would you say we'd be venturing into a zone of danger?
Commander Tony Drake : Well, yes. Obviously.
Sterling Archer : No, but I mean how would you phrase that?
Commander Tony Drake : The zone will be one of danger?
Sterling Archer : No, I mean. Not if you'd say the thing that. Forget it. Nevermind.
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Sterling Archer : Astronaut training sucks complete ass. Literally! What's the deal with all the enemas?
Doctor Krieger : Uhh.
Sterling Archer : And why do you need so much blood? And wait, now that I think about it...
Commander Tony Drake : Why is this man in the restricted area?
Doctor Krieger : Who, him?
Commander Tony Drake : You.
Sterling Archer : What? Krieger!
Doctor Krieger : Uhh, smoke bomb!
Commander Tony Drake : And why aren't you with the other trainees?
Sterling Archer : I was told I had to undergo a bunch of extremely invasive medical tests.
Commander Tony Drake : Well, normally you would but by our doctors. But since you're on such an accelerated training schedule...
Sterling Archer : Six enemas is a luxury we can ill-afford. Got it.
Malory Archer : Six?
Sterling Archer : Or, who knows. He put me under. Maybe twelve.
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Sterling Archer : Happy, Cyril? You just destroyed Alderaan!
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Commander Tony Drake : What the hell is going on here?
Sterling Archer : Uh, an electrical fire in the simulator. And knowing that my colleague's life was in danger, I...
Commander Tony Drake : Acted without thinking.
Lana Kane : As always.
Sterling Archer : Not always...
Commander Tony Drake : Well, thank God you did.
Sterling Archer : ...But almost always!
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Commander Tony Drake : [wounded] The bridge... We have to make it... to the...
Sterling Archer : The bridge, yes, I heard you. So unless we're going the wrong way...
Commander Tony Drake : Uh, no. That's it right there.
Sterling Archer : Then shut up! God.
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Commander Tony Drake : Okay. Archer.
Sterling Archer : Oh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Or to her, who... Why is she here?
Malory Archer : Because Tony invited me.
Sterling Archer : Tony? What, are you trying to get my mother into the Million-Mile High Club?
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Sterling Archer : [fires grenade launcher] Whoo!
Lana Kane , Cyril Figgis , Ray Gillette : Archer?
Sterling Archer : Hold on.
[grenade goes off]
Sterling Archer : Yes, Archer, duh. And if you're done doing each other's hair, let's...
Commander Tony Drake : ...retake the ship!
[runs off]
Sterling Archer : Or just run around interrupting people.