Being Human (TV Series)

Pie and Prejudice (2013)

Damien Molony: Hal

Quotes 

• Tom : Larry's gonna stay here a while to train me.

  Hal : Great. The more the merrier...

  Tom : [interrupting]  You're not the boss of me here, Hal. I can do what I like.

  Hal : Yes, I know, I - I said it was great.

• Hal : He's been filling your head with utter nonsense! Tom, these attitudes he's encouraging - they're shallow! They're aggressive...

  Tom : Alright, alright! Maybe he's not a very nice guy! Maybe that's the truth! But you know what? I don't care. 'Cause nice guys finish last, Hal. And I'm tired of finishing last. 'Cause when you're there, and you get to the finishing line, you find that the pie's already gone, 'cause some bugger like you has already et it.

  [beat] 

  Tom : The Success Pie.

  [beat] 

  Tom : Which is where they keep it. At the finishing line on the top of... Success Mountain - I don't really know how it works.

• Alex : You know a ghost? Another female ghost. And what, you didn't tell me?

  Hal : Because I knew there was no point. You really wouldn't get on.

  Alex : Oh well, I think that's for me and my new best mate, Mary, to decide, don't you.

  Hal : Absolutely not. Lady Mary is a shy, fragile creature, with an innocence I am determined to protect.

  Alex : What, you think I would corrupt her?

  Hal : I think you'd corrupt Keith Richards.

• Alex : Not going to lie, that could have gone better.

  Hal : Two hundred and fifty years I've been visiting her. Five minutes with you and she's threatening to castrate people and accusing me of onanism.