Scenes from a Marriage (TV Mini Series)

Paula (1973)

Erland Josephson: Johan

Quotes 

• Johan : All these words I'm spouting are just empty talk. I don't imagine for one minute that I've touched on the truth about us. I don't think there is such a thing as the truth. No matter what we say or do, it will hurt.

• Johan : I came here to tell you something. I've gone and fallen in love. It's absurd, and probably a big mistake. Most probably a big mistake. I met her at that convention in June. She was the interpreter and secretary. Actually, she's studying for her degree. She's going to teach Slavic languages. She's nothing much to look at. You would probably think she's ugly. I have no idea what this will lead to. I have no idea about anything. I'm utterly bewildered. Of course, I'm happy in one way. But I do feel damn guilty about you and the children. We've always gotten along so well. Things have been no better and no worse than for the average family. Say something, for Christ's sake.

  Marianne : I don't know what to say.

• Marianne : You're presenting me with a fait accompli. You're putting me in a ridiculous and intolerable situation.

  Johan : I know exactly what you mean. What will our parents say? What will your sister think? What will our friends think? Lord, think of all the gossip! How will it affect the girls, and their friends' mothers? What about the dinner parties we're already scheduled to attend? And what will you tell Peter and Katarina? To hell with all that! It feels good to act like a cad.

  Marianne : That wasn't what I meant.

  Johan : Then what did you mean?

  Marianne : Nothing.

• Marianne : What should I tell the girls?

  Johan : Say whatever you like.

  Marianne : That you fell in love with someone else and walked out on us?

  Johan : That about covers it. It also has the advantage of being true. I don't expect them to understand.

• Johan : I want to make a clean break.

  Marianne : And if I'm not here when...

  Johan : I don't give a damn. Do you know how long I've had this in mind? Not the affair with Paula, but how long I've wanted to leave?

  Marianne : Don't say it.

  Johan : I've wanted to be rid of you for four years.

  Marianne : No more.

  Johan : You're right. Words don't mean much.

• Marianne : It's funny.

  Johan : What's funny?

  Marianne : That I didn't notice anything. I didn't suspect a thing. Everything's been just like usual. Better, in fact. You've been so sweet. I've been a silly, blind fool. I didn't even notice. Christ.

  Johan : No, you never noticed. But you've never been particularly observant.

• Johan : Good-bye, Marianne. Take care.

  Marianne : Good-bye.

  Johan : I might be back in a week.

  Marianne : If only you were!

  [She wraps her arms around him, burying her face in his chest] 

  Marianne : We'd make a fresh start. We'd throw out our stale old routines. We'd talk about the past. Figure out where we went wrong. You'd hear no accusations from me. Johan... this all seems so unreal. I don't know what to do. You're shutting me out. Any solution would be better than this. Couldn't you promise to come back? That would tide me over. Then you wouldn't be leaving me without hope. Even if you have no intention of returning, you could say you do.

  Johan : I have to go now.

  [He pries himself from her grasp and walks out] 

• Johan : I know I'm being unfair. I know I'm way out of line. I know we've had a good life together. And I think I still love you. In fact, I think I love you more now that I've met Paula. Can you understand this bitterness? I can't think of a better word than bitterness. No one can explain it to me, since I have no one to talk to, except Erik Bromeus, and he's an intellectual illiterate with little to offer beyond his money, though that does come in handy. I don't understand any of this. I don't understand this bitterness that just keeps on growing.

  Marianne : I don't understand. How come you haven't said anything?

  Johan : How can you discuss what you can't find words for? How do you say that sex is boring even when, technically, everything's fine?

• Johan : She has no illusions. She says she has no great hopes for the two of us. She's convinced I'll go back to you, that she doesn't have a chance against you. Sometimes it sounds like lines from some old hackneyed melodrama.

• Johan : I'm trying not to feel guilty. That would just be an act. This is how it is, and nothing can be done about it.

• Marianne : Lie here in my arms. We'll fall asleep together.

  Johan : I don't think I can sleep. The best thing would be to pack my things and leave.

  Marianne : Lie down and close your eyes. You'll doze off. We need rest. Tomorrow will be a tough day.

  Johan : [They hold each other tightly, weeping softly]  I'm so goddamn ashamed of myself.

  Marianne : We'll talk about that later. Right now it's just you and me. We have a few hours left together.

• Marianne : I must have done something wrong.

  Johan : Would you stop it? Blaming yourself is an easy way out! Lets you feel noble and humble. Neither of us is to blame. There's no point in wallowing in guilt. Though God knows I feel so guilty I can barely breathe. It's the luck of the draw. A cruel fluke. Why should we be exempt from humiliation and disaster? It's perfectly logical, so why cloud the issue?

• Marianne : Where do we go from here?

  Johan : I don't know.

  Marianne : Do you want a divorce? Are you going to marry her? Why tell me tonight of all times? What's the sudden rush?

  Johan : We're leaving for Paris tomorrow. I want to get away. At least for a while. I was going this fall anyway, to see Grandin and his assistant. Paula has this study grant and wants to use it this fall. I want to be with her. I can't make it without her. So we're leaving tomorrow. Now that I'm here, talking to you, I feel like scrapping the whole thing. I just feel frightened and tired. Nothing could be more absurd or clichéd.

• Johan : I don't possess much self-knowledge, and I know very little about reality, in spite of all the books I've read. But I believe that this catastrophe is the chance of a lifetime.

  Marianne : Has Paula filled your head with garbage like that? How naïve can you get?

  Johan : This conversation can do without your taunts and sarcastic remarks.

• Marianne : Don't go.

  Johan : That's impossible.

  Marianne : What if I beg?

  Johan : It's no use, and it's embarrassing.

• Johan : Guess what I'm fed up with most of all. All this harping about what we're expected to do and what we must take into consideration. "What will your mother think? What will the children say? How shall we arrange the dinner party, and shouldn't we invite my father? We must go to the coast, to the mountains, to St. Moritz. We must celebrate Christmas, Easter, birthdays, name days." Every single goddamn occasion!

• Johan : We've never talked like this before. Is it any wonder we're naïve, insecure and childish? What else could we expect?

• Johan : I know just what you're thinking. I have no excuse.

  Marianne : How can you know what I'm thinking?

• Johan : This affair with Paula is a disaster for you and me both. I've tried to break free over and over again, but it's impossible. She won't let me go. And I'm obsessed with her somehow. It sounds so damn melodramatic to say you're obsessed by anyone, but it's the only word that fits the bill. At first I resisted, but now I've let everything go straight to hell. And that suits me just fine.