- Don Pardo - Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Sofia Vergara!
- Sofía Vergara: Thank you! Thank you very much! Hello, everyone! It is so wonderful to be here tonight hosting La Noche de Sabado Vivo"! I have to thank all of you, because this is such a HUGE moment for me in my life. I never dreamed that I would be here in New York City. I came here all the way from a small town in Columbia called Barranquilla. "Barranquilla" is a Spanish word that means "Cleveland." I always heard that immigrants had a really hard life when they came to America. But when I showed up here, everyone was so nice. The men bought me drinks and offered me a place to sleep. This country welcomed me with open arms and pulled-down pants! And, also, I am so lucky to be part of the amazing cast of "Modern Family." Growing up in Columbia, it was every girl's dream to one day grow up... and marry Al Bundy. I am also so proud to have my son Manolo with me here tonight.
- [reveals her son in the audience]
- Sofía Vergara: Hi, Manolo!
- Manolo Gonzalez Vergara: [waving] Hi, Mom!
- Sofía Vergara: I know what you're all thinking: "How can she have a son who's that old?" But he's only five. South Americans develop very quickly. But then, they stay the same age FOREVER! Just look at my grandparents over there!
- [reveal young couple sitting next to her son]
- Sofía Vergara: Hola, Abuela! And, finally... you may have noticed that I have a bit of an accent sometimes. I love it! This accent can make anything... sound sexy. Listen:
- [sexily]
- Sofía Vergara: Gon-a-rrrrrrhea!
- [she smiles]
- Sofía Vergara: Reek San-torrrrrrum. New Jerrrrrr-sey. Mmm-hmmmmm... New Jerrrrrr-sey! So, tonight, please forgive me if you cannot understand what I say. And I will forgive you for staring at my chest the whole night! We have a great show for tonight! One Direction... is here! So stick around, and we'll be right back.