User Reviews

I was made aware of the memorial Shane made for Tom on YouTube. It was beautiful. Love is beautiful. It was noted that there was a forthcoming documentary which I viewed on OWN. There is love, humor, togetherness; a six year period of lives lived well. I appreciated the inclusion of both Tom and Shane's early lives of being gay in small town America. There was nothing sexually in your face about their relationship shown in the doc; they were careful about any PDA when together. While watching.. If I ever questioned equal marriage this drove home that marriage is a non sexual legal gift for the protection of each spouse. This could be considered a 43 year later representation of the film Love Story without the overplayed drama. Had Prop 8 been reversed and DOMA overturned just a year earlier and the two married, Shane would not have endured the vindictive cruelty of Tom's family (fully realizing they too were going thru sincere emotional pain too). If people are in long term committed relationships and live in parts of the country where equal marriage is not allowed; it would be advisable to have wills in place to control as much as you possibly can by law in the event a tragedy would happen to you or your significant other. Hopefully, documentaries like this will continue to elicit peoples hearts into making equal marriage available countrywide. There will always be people that disagree with same sex relationships, but if you have a heart you cannot deny that committed couples all deserve the dignity of the protections marriage affords.

Interestingly, Bridegroom I think serves as a reminder that the MPAA ratings system is a little challenged these days. When I saw the R rating, I was baffled. I don't really remember there being any profanity, maybe one F-bomb. I find it so bizarre when documentaries are held to the same language standards as narrative features, because often those words are taken from actual events, or interviews. Most documentaries have a very strong learning aspect to them, and to rate a documentary R simply because of a few curse words seems extreme to me.

Bridegroom refers to the last name of the subject of the documentary, Tom Bridegroom, a young gay man who tragically fell to his death on May 7th, 2011, leaving behind his partner Shane. This tragedy has already gotten a lot of media attention, mainly due to a 10 minute video that went viral ahead of this documentary being made. People instantly resonated with Shane's story, about not being able to really say goodbye, and being prevented from attending the funeral of his partner. Gay or straight, to already have to lose the most important person in your life, and then have this unnecessary hate compounding on top, is infuriating. I'd imagine Martha Bridegroom and her husband get nasty looks on a daily basis.

I think I would have appreciated Bridegroom more had I not seen the 10 minute version prior to this. Honestly, there's a ton of filler regarding Shane's life growing up, and Tom's life growing up. The most interesting part of the story isn't that, it's the details about how Tom's family handled his death, and prevented Shane from being a part of the funeral. While it is nice to hear anecdotal comments about Shane and Tom, and knowing that Shane's family accepted him for who he was, I feel like we skimped on the gut wrenching details of Shane's dangerous journey to Tom's funeral.

It's like the director believed we needed the first hour of the film to really believe that Shane and Tom were in love, and that the rest would just fall into place. I needed a better balance, because I realize what their ace in the hole is. The fact is, if Tom had died, and Tom's family let Shane come to the funeral and treated him like a normal human being, we'd never have heard of this story. Shane would have never been a viral hit, and this movie would have never been made. As insensitive as it may seem to say this, we want to see the good stuff.

That being said, I think it is still an effective documentary, especially for those who are totally unfamiliar with this story. I think it does a good job of presenting the facts, and establishes Shane as an incredibly likable guy early on. That's important, because this is all his side of the story. The Bridegroom Brood is never on screen with their rebuttal. In fact, I can't even find anything online from them saying that this stuff isn't true.

I know that the producers of Bridegroom are hoping for a Best Documentary nomination this year, but I just don't think it'll happen. It'll do fairly well on Netflix, and it will help with the overall cause of marriage equality. It lacks the gravitas needed to compete against a lot of the heavier films that are typically nominated for an Oscar.

I hate to disagree with most of the other reviews, but I didn't care for this film. The couple the film focuses on seems very likable. The story is very sad. It goes nowhere.

Shane grows up in a rural town where he is subjected to bullying - sad, but certainly nothing unusual. He meets a great, handsome guy who pulls him out of his shell. They fall in love, are rapturously happy, and travel the world together. We know all about their great loving relationship, because we're told all about it by Shane and many other people. Tragically, Tom has a terrible accident. The nurses at the hospital tell Shane they can't allow him in to see Tom because he's "not family" - but they let him in anyway. Tom dies from his injuries.

Tom's funeral is hidden from Shane because Tom's intensely bigoted family doesn't accept gays, and blames Shane for making Tom gay, and doesn't want him at the funeral. Very sad, and ugly, but certainly not unheard of.

To me, this film is like an extended episode of The Real World, MTV's old reality TV show. Lots and lots of interview cuts of friends and family sitting and talking about how they felt about this couple, and how they felt about each other. The camera lingers on countless shots (these guys sure loved cameras) of their handsome faces, and the fun places they visited before the tragic accident.

I just kept waiting for it to get going - would some kind of legal action be taken as a result of Shane being turned away (initially) at the hospital? Would Tom's bigoted parents have a change of heart and embrace Shane, and finally accept their son's sexuality? Where was the story? What made this couple's sad experience film worthy? I kept waiting for some kind of transformation. None came. Sorry to sound cold, but Bridegroom plays like a long vanity project.

As the world goes from some sort of malice toward homosexuals to tolerance, movies like this remind you of how silly it is people can actively hate a group of people who do them no harm. But, thankfully, as much as there is an underlying theme about equality within the film, the love between Tom and Shane is what is the most showcased. Thus making a film which could rival some of your favorite romantic movies.

Characters & Story

This documentary features two men. One being Shane, and the other Tom. Their love story plays out like many love stories in which this extrovert meets this quiet person and through the extrovert the quiet counterpart blossoms. And the film decides, rather than to start when Tom and Shane first date, they instead make it so you build up to that moment by getting to know the two men before the love came about. With that, the film makes it so you are almost like an acquaintance of the two boys, who you may have seen around school, and rather than them being someone you just randomly look up on Facebook, instead you get one half of the relationship, and all their friends, telling you what happened from beginning to end.

Praise

Truly, for a film a little over an hour to be so touching is quite amazing. As I've said in other reviews, so many films do so much in order to make an on-screen relationship seem authentic, but when you see Tom and Shane, and think about all that lead up to their relationship, it truly does create a mental precedent, as their friends say in the movie. Then, what makes this film all the better is the fact this romance was reality. Thankfully, both Tom and Shane loved using their camera to take picture and create videos, and when you combine those two with the interview segments, you get a film which squashes any Nicholas Sparks movie adaption, and rivals any other depiction of love you can think of.

But, perhaps the nicest thing is the way we are introduced to Tom and Shane. We get to see two separate entities grow into finding each other like the proverbial missing puzzle piece. And though there isn't much affection shown, in terms of kissing or something like that, just their interactions and pictures show the type of romance I'm sure many dream of. And though really all we are as viewers are people viewing into the window of Shane and Tom's life, the amount of detail really makes you feel almost like an acquaintance by the end of the film.

Criticism

Honestly, there isn't much to critique the film on since it is fairly to the point and only a little over an hour. I mean, to nitpick, I could say I wasn't fond of most of the music used, but that is mostly because there is a lot of original music which I wasn't feeling, country songs, and songs which may have fit the moment, but I think were unnecessary overall. However, and maybe this is just my feelings, I think it was unnecessary for the movie to have one of the interviewees, who seems so foreign in comparison to Shane's or Tom's family members and friends. And the reason I say he seems foreign, is because it seems his main purpose is to associate Tom and Shane's story with the push for marriage equality and gay rights. And really, the film itself, on its own, speaks on why marriage equality matters as well as speak on the issues a gay person can have in this world, especially if they grow up in an area of intolerance. So his participation almost seems more like an invasive sponsor than someone contributing something of worth.

Overall: Rental/ VOD

Perhaps in the future, when people take note of how far things have come, films like this one will be used to show part of the devastation which came simply from unfound hatred. And while we are told neither Tom nor Shane were physically bullied, you do see through Shane how much mental torture can come from not only not accepting yourself, but not having those who you want to be close accept you. Making this, to me, worth renting. For while it is just one man's story, like so many before, and surely after, it is a story which matters and truly reminds you despite the many differences there are between people, be it race, sexuality, likes/dislikes and etc., there are a few basic things we all search for and are a part of what gives us hope, and reason, to live possibly into our 80s, 90s, and 100s, and that is having someone who accepts all of you and finds it complimentary to their being.

As an older gay man I have learned to to emotionally stuff my feelings down a long dark hole. I never even cried at my father's funeral. And felt guilty for it. But frankly, I wept and wept repeatedly after watching this documentary.

You will first be angry at the cruelty and inhumanity shown to Shane (the surviving partner of this gay couple) by the family of his dead lover. Their inability to come to terms with both the sexuality and the death of their child is a living horror story. You will want to reach through the screen and smack Tom's mother right in the head. Then you will rethink.

You can not escape ultimately feeling sorry for them. So bitter, so cruel, so filled with hate for what their son really was they are coming apart emotionally at the seams. And they will do--anything--to try and erase reality and history.

I watched it a second time. What a lesson in living, the shortness of life and the need to say over and over to those who matter that you love them.

Tap-Tap-Tap. Gotta go. I'll start crying again...and then I'll be inspired. Again.

Just watched this on Netflix and was blown away by it. Superbly directed and constructed account of a truly wonderful love story with a heart-breaking ending.

These two guys were destined to share their lives. It was obvious from all the comments from friends and one of the families that these guys were soul mates. Both were fine handsome young men who lived their lives to the full and enjoyed similar interests.

You cannot fail to be moved by this beautiful account of their individual upbringing by their loving families. Sadly one of the guy's parents wasn't supportive of their son's sexuality - and despite that, he still loved them dearly. The other guy was supported wholeheartedly by his family.

This story has a very tragic ending - in more ways than one. This is one of the most beautiful factual love stories that I've ever seen. The story will live with you forever. You really should check this one out.

I've watched the documentary (twice). Well documented and logically assembled. Both of the prevailing characters in this love story lived what almost every undisguised person, gay or straight, would probably chose. Of all of the characters in this narrative that have prevailed the death, only two are sincerely pathetic. The homophobic father that could never accept his son being gay and the mother, being, in reality, worse than the father in that she was both homophobic and duplicitous. As I grow older, having lived a parallel experience, I am now more thankful that my companion passed respected by everyone, including his mother. I can assure any open minded viewer, you will be touched.

You may have watched several good, impressive gay films before. But you might feel they are overly dramatic and far away from your life. I promise you Bridegroom is the most special and touching gay movie I have seen. Actually, it is a documentary. The real story was found by the director on Youtube in 2012 (It Could Happen To You). Bridegroom, the love story of Shane and Tom is also a precious memory for Shane.

In the film, the hero, Shane Crone pays tribute to his partner Tom who died in an accident in 2011. All "actors and actresses" are themselves including Shane and Tom's family and friends. It's a documentary about Shane and Tom's childhoods, their acquaintance and their life. The film is tearful and heartbreaking because it does not have a happy ending. Tom dies young at only 29 years old.

More heartbreaking is that Tom's family refuses to accept Shane. As Tom's lover, he cannot attend Tom's funeral. Although Shane's family and friends accept and support him, his sadness cannot be described in words. His world crashes with Tom's leaving.

Shane and Tom, like other young people, are cheerful and optimistic. I also feel they are lucky, because they can meet their soul mate and true love in the big world. Shane is brave, and he can tell the world his story and about the tragedy.

The world should be diverse and colorful, like the gay symbol - the rainbow flag. This small film may influence the audience and make a meaningful impact on society.

I am a gay man with no talent. Just opinions.

This film has had me in tears . Shane Bitney Crone you said something at the end of the movie. That you would live your life the way Tom would. That says everything to me about the quality of man and human being you are. I cannot say enough about this movie. It is a true testament of love. A testament to Tom Bridegroom, Romeo and his Juliet ,Shane Bitney Crone.

'For never was a story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Documentaries are made to educate the public on a wide range of topics. Weather patterns, disasters, historic figures or anything that poses a interest in someone. Bridegroom tell's how two young men who grew up in town's miles apart in families as different as Night and day. "Bridegroom" does so in a timely manner with so much care that by the end you feel as if you knew both guys personally. Shane Britney Crone tell's most the story with his parents, relatives and friends the picture of how two men redefine the meaning of true love and how a tragedy tore them apart. How the surviving lover was delt with his partners homophobic parents and snubbed from the funeral of his partner. I cannot think of a documentary that made me cry or kept a lump in my throat. This is one documentary that needs to be seen by all. I admit that I couldn't wait for this to be released and was the first in years that I paid full price for a DVD and I totally got my money's worth.

Bridegroom is the most wonderful homosexual documentary film I have seen.When I saw the part where Shane was soliloquizing in front of the video after Tom's death,I could not resist crying sorrowfully.Not only Tom's death,but their true love really touches my heart.The movie tell us a truth:"Deeply love the person who loves you deeply,otherwise you wil get in endless bitterness when you lose him or her.