- Kevin Malone: Sometimes I feel like every one I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes I mean all times. All the times. Every of the times!
- Kevin Malone: So, Dwight doesn't understand what a silent auction is.
- [Chuckles to himself]
- Kevin Malone: I guess he's the 'stupid guy' in the office, huh? Cause up 'til now, we didn't have one.
- Dwight Schrute: I don't want to alarm people, but there is a distinct chance that we're all about to be killed.
- David Wallace: When I got canned, I was lost. I poured myself into this ridiculous vacuum for toys called Suck It.
- Andy Bernard: Yikes.
- Andy Bernard: Exactly, right? Suddenly out of nowhere, the US military bought the patent from me for $20 million.
- Jim Halpert: I just proved that he gives his cell out to everybody.
- Pam Beesly: Or you just proved that he thinks you're gay.
- Oscar Martinez: He doesn't think Jim is gay. A gay man would not leave the house wearing those shoes.
- Pam Beesly: Tears of a Clown
- Ryan Howard: Don't call me a clown Pam. Come on, you're better then that