- Joe: Holliston, Massachusetts. A quaint little town founded in 1724 by the pilgrims, Paul Revere, and Emilia Earheart. This town has a long and scary history. From the mysterious balancing rocks that you see behind me, which some say were erected for Satanic sacrifices, to the tales of torture on the Farms of Cumberland where locals say you can still hear the screams of horror on a full moon. This town has a scary, macabre, and scary history to it. But one word still instills fear into the whispers of the elders and the nightmares of children... the Holliston Hobgoblin.
- Adam: [to Laura and Corri] I'll be like the heroic lead who kind of saves you guys and then... tag teams both of you when it's over.
- Nicolo: Oh yeah, the Holliston Hobgoblin is fierce, kid. I remember when I was still smoking diesel, me and my boy Sully, we used to go down to Lake Winthrop with a couple tall boys so that the cops would bother us- those motherfuckers- and there was this one night, I'll never forget it. I don't remember exactly what happened but all I know is we turned around and the Holliston Hobgoblin is staring right back at us. Fahkin. But we didn't run away or nothing 'cause there was nowhere's else to drink. I mean, the parking lot behind the middle school used to be a boss place to party but then they put up that chained link fence and you couldn't climb back up it once you was shattered. This was a big problem, you understand? In sixth grade I got caught back there doing the "arm eat beat."
- Adam: The what?
- Nicolo: The "arm eat beat", kid. It's when you lick your armpit like it's a piece of vag and with your other hand you do beat.
- Oderus Urungus: Hey, I'm a magical alien from Scumdogia. Our motto is: If a girl won't let you touch her... touch her when she's passed out!