- Mike Smith: [playing with a mini statue, impersonating David] Hi, there, my name's David. I don't wear pants And I was thinkin' since my cock's already out Maybe you'd like to take and little suck off?
- John Paul Tremblay: Jesus Christ, Smith! Your fuckin' breath smells like drunk Shamu Just dumped a big whale load in your mouth, man, fuck!
- Mike Smith: Come on, it's just a little tiny penis. Why don't you finger my little tight hole?
- John Paul Tremblay: Get your fuckin' hands off me, Smith!
- Mike Smith: Finger my little hole! Tongue my hole!
- John Paul Tremblay: Smith, would you smarten the fuck up and get serious here, man?
- Stephen: [having walked in and seeing Mike up to his shenanigans] Expensive statue! Guys, marble.
- Robb Wells: [the boys are in jail] Well, that just pretty much guaranteed I'll be working at fifties for the rest of my life. Thanks, you fuckin' lunatic!
- John Paul Tremblay: You can't be burnin' bridges like that, man.
- Mike Smith: Aw, fuck off. I can't fuckin' deal with networks doin' that, boys. We don't fuckin' need them! We can do shit on the internet.
- John Paul Tremblay: Yeah, that sounds like a great career, Smith. 40-Year-Old out of work fuckin' actor, Selling bullshit fuckin' real estate, Posting videos on shittube. Nice!
- Mike Smith: I'm not talkin' about fuckin' lametube. I mean, our own fuckin' network.
- John Paul Tremblay: Yeah, people'll are gonna fuckin' pay you To watch you swear and Jack your miniature cock off.
- Mike Smith: Yeah, they would, All over your mother's big sloppy horrible tits.
- Robb Wells: [laughs]
- Mike Smith: Think about this though, boys. We've got fuckin' direct access To over a million people on our fan sites. We get 10,000 of them even to pay five bucks a month, That's fifty fuckin' grand a month!
- John Paul Tremblay: Jesus Christ, man, what if a 100,000 did? That'd six million bucks a year.
- Robb Wells: Imagine the shit we could shoot with that kinda money. Fuck my tits, boys!
- Mike Smith: I would fuck your tits for that much money.
- John Paul Tremblay: So would I.
- Robb Wells: God, can you imagine? I'd just be prancin' around gigglin', ticklin' you guys.
- Mike Smith: This could be fuckin' huge, boys. Our own fuckin' network doin' whatever the fuck we want. Swearnet.
- Robb Wells: Swearnet. I fuckin' like that. It made my balls tingle.
- Prisoner Next Door: Shut the fuck up, I'm tryin' to cum!
- Mike Smith: Fuck off. Let's take our fuckin' balls And cradle then on the tips of our cocks And get this fuckin' thing lit right now. Let's do this.
- Jail Cop: [approaches the cell door] Smith, Wells, Tremblay, your ride's here, And she is some pissed.
- Robb Wells: Oh, Jesus fuckin' Christ!