User Reviews

This is not a good movie. If that's all you need to know, then you don't have to go any further. It's badly acted, badly directed, has no budget, the script makes no sense, there's no continuity, the camera work is pathetic, and the story flat out contradicts itself on several occasions. As a purveyor of bad movies, I naturally enjoyed it a whole lot.

The story follows Jonah and Ella (no, not Hansel and Gretal... that would be stupid!) as they are kicked out of yet another high school because her brother has misbehaved in some vague manner. They are accepted into one of the most 'prestigious' schools in the nation at Salem Massachusetts. I say 'prestigious' because they keep talking about how well respected it is despite the fact that there would appear to be only one or two buildings, the dorms consist of a single room with two beds and, oh yeah, people have been murdered and/or found severely brain damaged on campus, although from what I can tell nobody has really made a big deal of it.

Jonah gets into a fight almost immediately with the most stereotypical jock ever, and after complaining that nobody ever talks to him he immediately tells the only people who want to talk to him to f**k off. He's then invited by the jock that beat him up to come perform witchcraft and suck out the souls of other students, which he readily agrees to (I can't stress enough how fast he goes from 'nobody likes me' to 'i'm a complete jerk').

Ella, meanwhile, begins to think that something is afoot as she repeatedly talks to her guidance councilor who tells her all about the rumors of witchcraft at the school, telling Ella that it was prophesied that a set of twins would kill the cult of witches that reside there. Spoiler alert, the councilor is the head witch (who told her all about them). I'd say it's a surprise except every time you see 'mysterious robed witch' it's clearly a middle-aged woman, and the only woman the characters have any real interaction is the middle-aged guidance councilor.

Along the way, Ella finds that her parents were witch hunters who were killed by the same witch group, so she decides to kill the witches with a knife she found while investigating a bookshelf because... it had.. circles on it? She learns how to kill witches from her creepy stalker principle who trains her by throwing baseballs at her. They do this while the witches stand not 10 feet from them watching, and are then surprised when one of them stabs the principle in broad daylight.

Anyways, she eventually convinces her brother that killing people to drain their souls is bad, and after the shortest non-fight ever they kill the witch and decide to leave. To say it's a short fight would be an understatement. The head witch reveals her identity, says they don't stand a chance, is immediately stabbed by Ella, then explodes. Then they find out their real names were Hansel and Gretel, because apparently they didn't know their own names due to their parents dying...or something...

Where to begin on what this movie does wrong? You already likely noticed that this movie has NOTHING to do with Hansel and Gretel outside of the eventual reveal that their names are coincidentally the same and that one of the school buildings is called 'gingerbread house'. The witches are completely non-threatening, and seem to sabotage themselves at every opportunity. They claim that it was 'destined' that the two would go to the school yet it was the school THAT INVITED THEM THERE in the first place. Then they decide to stop them fulfilling the prophecy by TELLING THEM THEY ARE WITCHES.

While both actors ARE siblings, it's strange that they both have black belts yet have maybe 2 seconds worth of fighting. It's a waste that I'd think even THESE directors would have noticed, but apparently not.

The night scenes are clearly filmed during the day and they just tinted the screen blue... you can even see the sun! And at one point they are inside at night then someone opens the door and it's clearly the middle of the day!

Ella's shirt changes between every scene, and she even wears it backwards sometimes. Not to say she has a large wardrobe, she just changes back and forth between 2 or 3 shirts over and over.

There's 10 kids in the entire school that occupy the backgrounds, making 'afro-boy' and 'girl with pink backpack' my favorite characters in the whole movie.

They re-use the same stock footage too many times (not just same angle, but same people in same position), and they have still images as establishing shots.

They say it takes place in Massachusetts despite looking a lot like California and having the California flag in the corner of a room in several shots.

For some reason witches explode into stars when stabbed, using CG like in the original Star Trek.

You can see the camera crew in several reflections throughout the movie.

Oh, and the scene on the cover where they wear leather armor brandishing crossbows while walking away from an exploding castle? Yeah, that never happens. They never change out of t-shirts, and the only weapon in the entire movie is the dagger that Ella finds. There is no castle, and nothing explodes.

Honestly I could keep going on, but when I tried listing all the flaws I ended up going over the 1000 word limit.

This movie is a complete waste of time and money, unless you're looking for something that's so awful it's funny, in which case go for it. In that regards I liked it enough to give it a 2, but it probably doesn't deserve that.

"Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft" is low-budget schlock from fade-in to fade-out. The cover art on the DVD case is calculated to deceive. Neither hero nor heroine are ever attired in the outfits that they wear on the DVD case. They never wield swords, just knives with elaborate handles. "Final Stab" director David DeCoteau started helming this kind of shoddy nonsense as far back as 1985, and he has called the shots on over 100 straight-to-video features. The only celebrity actor in this supernatural fluff is Eric Roberts, and Julia's brother must have done it for the paycheck because "Hansel & Gretel" breaks no new ground. This lackluster yarn follows a pair of real-life twins after they are expelled from one school to another. It seems that Jonah (Boo Boo Stewart of "Twilight") cannot keep out of trouble. Jonah's sister, Ellen (Fivel Stewart), has the brains of the family. They wind up at an elite academy where the headmaster (Eric Roberts of "The Expendables") boasts about how some of their graduates when on to be presidents. Suspiciously enough, Larson Tretter's screenplay sounds like "The Skulls." The incomprehensible plot unfolds with Jonah getting mixed up with the wrong types and participating in a ceremony where witch wannabes conjure up gilded swirling balls and launch them. Ellen isn't invited into this inner circle. She finds an old piece of paper wrapped around a knife and concealed in a dresser. It seems that their parents attended the same school and she learns that she is a slayer of witches. The headmaster trains her by slinging baseballs at her that she catches with relative ease. Meantime, Jonah's friends try to convert him to their cause, but everything falls through. One-dimensional characters cavort throughout this 83 minute idiocy. Nothing memorable or cool occurs. DeCoteau would be great directing movies about cloud floating through blue skies. The first half of the action—getting the protagonists from their first school to the present school takes over a half-hour! He holds up shots of the same stuff far longer than required. The acting—except for Eric Roberts (I'm no relation)—is abysmal. Everybody blurts out their lines without feeling. Similarly, everybody brushes their hair out of their eyes. Apparently, the ability to groom themselves during action and dialogue qualified these stiff, mannequin-like thespians for this synthetic crap. Foremost, "Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft" has nothing to do with the big-screen "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters." Don't make the mistake that I made when I bought it from Walmart for $14.95. Skip it!

Why the hell was it made? We just paid £5 on this crappy film because we thought it was the Hansel and Gretal that had recently been playing in the cinema. I regret my actions. It was like something off the Simpson's where they stab someone and they die without any blood or pain. She stabbed Megan and disappeared. It was like a child had actually written it. Has anyone watched this because Don't you know the carry on movies where they have low budgets, at least there good and fun this is complete and utter rubbish. Also the Wicked Witch of the Wood turned out to be the school teacher- SCARY. She was saying stuff like "I'm going to eat you" and my brother was laughing with boredom, then she said this is the best i have got and the Gretal stabbed her. The headmaster was creepy and he was supposed to be a good guy. It would be great for 3 year old, but they might even think it is boring. My dad started yawning at the first 10 minutes and I nearly fell asleep. I said it was warming up, 20 mins later- must be a good middle, 40 mins later-has to be a great finale,end of film- was that the outtakes?. There isn't even any deleted scenes and my Mom said they were the deleted scenes. The only reason I am spending so long on this review is because there are so many faults with it. And anyway the storyline was confusing probably because we kept nodding off. For a 2013 film it was rubbish it was like on January 1st they made the script, January 2nd they got the actors to do it and January 3rd they published it. Did anyone see a trailer for it? I didn't and I know why, it was banned at the cinema. Please peeps don't waste ya money

Why can we not un-see things? If I could un-see things, this movie would be close to the top of my list. I bought this dreadful piece of work at my local supermarket in error, thinking it was the Gemma Arterton/Jeremy Renner version. It wasn't!!! From the very beginning of this ill conceived mess which I watched with my eldest daughter, I knew we were in for trouble.

When they showed the same stock shot to represent a view of two different schools I knew I had wasted my money. We began keeping score of the number of times they used the same shot and realized that they didn't just do it with 1 or 2 shots but 7 or 8, and credibility of the movie fell when they actually re-used one of the shots of Eric Roberts spying on some of the other characters. Whilst on the subject of Mr Roberts, I do hope he is seeing someone for his alcohol problem, although in his defence, if I were presented with this load of twaddle I would need to be comatose, not simply tipsy before agreeing to appear in it.

The effects were laughable, acting unbelievably amateurish, the story weak to the point of non-existence, the lighting just bizarre, and the cinematography beyond belief. We did follow the unsung hero with the afro hair who popped up a number of times without ever turning to face the camera or god forbid speak. My daughter was concerned that the one suspense filled scene would be too scary for her. Never fear, even that scene with its five minute build up fell prey to the prince of blandness. We were actually hoping the girl would have something scary happen to her to alleviate the boredom.

My daughter was of the opinion that the production company paid more for the creation of the DVD cover (which gave the impression that the movie was actually cool rather than dire) than they did for the entire movie.

Please do not waste your money on the this awful mess of a movie.

Take a look at the DVD sleeve, then watch the film. Then wonder if there should be some sort punishment enforced on the writer, director, producer or distribution company. Actually I can't blame the writer. For all I know it was a great script that simply didn't survive the pre- production.

But there you go on the sleeve with Fivel and Booboo (who names their kids that?) dressed in black leather, carrying swords, explosions, castles and flocks of bats behind them teasing you to something of a great action movie. Here's the spoiler alert..... none of that happens. Fivel discovers an enchanted letter opener about 3/4 of the way in and slays the head witch at the end in the shortest final battle sequence ever. "I'm the main witch! - And now you're dead!" cue the happy music. I won't spoil all of the story for you. I'll let the film do that if you find yourself actually watching this nonsense.

Then I could go on about the continuity? OK I will. Opening scene is Booboo getting into what we later find out to be another fight. The scene is cut with exterior shots to basically establish where we are. So, the poor troubled lad with his twin sister are sent to an exclusive private school. But hang on......? Isn't that the same place in the exterior shots? Should this be in the goofs section? Essentially it looks like someone went out with a camera one afternoon, shot about 30 minutes of exterior views with which to loosely cut together the "main action".

This film is dreadful. Please don't read this review and then go watch the film to see how dreadful it was. Please, I beg you, just.... don't. This isn't going to turn into a cult classic like "Attack of the killer tomatoes" one day that becomes famous because it is rubbish. "Attack" was put together purposely to be a bit naff and we loved it for that. Hansel & Gretel Witchhunters etc, seems to be taking itself seriously like it set out to be a serious film. You will get to the end and say "Seriously?"

That's probably about the only good thing to say about this movie and even then, that's a stretch at times.

I must have picked this movie up during a fantasy movie kick buying spurge when the system recommended it to me. I only paid about $2.50 for it, before s&h, but even that is far too much. It is stereotypical in at least two ways. It is as predictable as a Robin Cook novel where one can easily pick out the foe and like certain fantasy novels, the art work on the cover leads one to believe that there is far more inside than what it actual has.

No castles, no swords, no warriors in stylish leather armor, and really for that matter, no heroes. Major players seem to be present more for their curves in their form fitting clothing than for what they actually bring to the story. Well, perhaps that is not quite fair for in their lines, there is some contribution but the cast does not deliver.

They cannot carry the show. One does not care about the heroes or hate the enemies or worry about the innocents.

There are, perhaps, suggestions of sub themes at work in the story but they are never developed so the viewer may be mislead by their presence. It would have taken just a little effort to illuminate them but that effort is never made.

In the end, evil is vanquished with hardly any effort at all which leaves one to wonder, then what do we need these special ones for?

The movie is vastly disappointing and its only redeeming grace is the hope that in some future, these now overconfident babes in the woods will get their heads handed to them by a worthy enemy.

But, of course, having been once bitten by the original, one is twice shy to watch any sequel by this production company.

Whoever wasted their money on producing this movie deserves losing everything. What a load of trash. Unnecessary bad language, ridiculous modern style script and to cap it all out comes a stun gun sort of disguised as something like a wooden catapult. Do not bother wasting your time or money watching time and certainly don't waste YOUR money buying the DVD or going to the cinema. Unfortunately, IMDb rules state that there must be 10 lines of review before it can be accepted for on-line submission. Not easy in this case as what I have said really does sum up what a load of rubbish this film is. However, to put it some sort of context I should add that I currently have nearly 900 film DVD's in my collection and yes there are a few that were not worth the time and effort let alone money, but this film; Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft (2013) is definitely 'bottom of the pile' and will be duly binned. The only saving grace is (and only just 'is'), is the CGI. Everything should have stayed on the cutting room floor.

I have actually seen worse movies than this one and they say the last Twilight movie was the worst movie ever made. I think this one far surpasses that one. In all actuality it isn't the worst movie I have ever seen but it could have been a lot better. It was a waste of the two main characters.

I knew I was going to see a B Movie when I saw the names Eric Roberts and Vanessa Angel. Even though I like both of these actors and Eric has made some good movies in the past, these days he is in rather low budget movies and I have never seen Vanessa Angel in anything else. Almost every time I see Mr. Roberts in a movie in the later 2000s he has on glasses and he talks like he has mush in his mouth. I don't know if he has a speech impediment or false teeth. He was totally off in this movie. He was the worst of them all. It would have made a better TV movie in all actuality. It was entertaining to a point but it did drag and the musical soundtrack detracted even more. I hated the soundtrack. It is all right for a one time see but other than that I wouldn't recommend this movie.

I don't think I need to really go into the plot that much, what there was of one. Adopted twins, the male always fighting so he is sent to a private school so his sister goes along to be with him. They run into others there that initiate the sullen brother into their witch circle because he has a circle birthmark and fool him because he and his sister are actually witch slayers. They finally save the day by killing the evil Witch of the Woods and all is well while at the end they get ready to go off and slay more witches they will find out in the world after finding out their true names are Hansel and Gretel. Leaving it open for a sequel heaven forbid.

Twins Jonah and Ella go to an elite prep school (Lebkuchen Haus, which is German for gingerbread house; the only reference to the fairy tale) because Jonah is always getting into fights. This is ridiculous enough that it might be a good enough reason to stop watching the film.

Jonah is assigned a room with Charles, who does not get along well with others. Nice. Charles warns Jonah that one either eats or gets eaten at the school. Charles is at the school through scholarship obtained by merit. Jonah is there through influence from his adoptive parents; he was born into a lower social setting. So, Charles has two reasons not to like him.

Ella is assigned a room with Kristen, who works on the school paper. Kristen used Google to find out all sorts of information about Ella. Kristen thinks she has a kick-ass story that will blow the lid off the school.

In Jonah's first class (held outside; sure), Ms Thomas goes on about Golding's hypothesis that humans naturally reject civilisation whenever possible and descend into savagery. Jonah appears not to be listening, but then again, he's a perfect example of the lesson. When asked about what had been said, though, Jonah summarised it in one sentence.

Jonah finds that there are witches at the school, and they invite him to join. They know, somehow, that he has a circular birthmark at the back of his head, just as all of them do. They show him that he can do some unexpected things, and swear him to secrecy.

Charles warned of students going missing; he decides to leave before it happens to him. Kristen goes missing; Ella tries to follow her research. She ends up following Jonah, and asks him what he has been up to; Jonah stays quiet about it. Some of Kristen's research involves the coming of European witches to America, and the attempt of the 'Great Witch of the Woods' to rule in the Americas. Despite the fact that many of the followers were put down in Salem, the GWW is still alive and about 400 years old, and has new followers in the Circle. The job of the Circle is to find young souls for the GWW to feast on. The counter current here is the presence of a few who have witch skills but are tasked with killing evil witches; these people would be 'witch slayers.'

-----Scores-----

Cinematography: 5/10 Amateurish. The re-use of some of the campus stock footage was beyond irritating. Some short clips were each repeated at least ten to twelve times.

Sound: 0/10 Fracking hideous. The sound has multiple personalities: (a) pieces of the score sound as if they were made in the 1970s by an out of work composer with a lesser grade synthesizer (b) other pieces are florid, symphonic, and ridiculous for an action film (c) another set of background music is second rate industrial, say late 1990s. Some of the conversations were very badly miked, and sounded noticeably hollow.

Acting: 0/10 The leads were dull non-actors who are a huge anchor around the neck of this drowning film. Booboo, in particular, is so poor that it is painful to watch any scene he is in. His attempts to read a sentence from a book were pathetic. Judy Norton and Eric Roberts were wasted. Roberts' slurred speech in the early scenes sounded as if he was recovering from something, and that hair cut was laughable. What was the director thinking?

Screenplay: 0/10 Why would an ineffective ruffian (Jonah) be placed in an elite prep school? It's like asking a fish to walk 100 miles in a desert at the height of summer. What were the real reasons that he was admitted? Why would his sister go as well? The answers come late, and were not that interesting when they showed up. The dialog was between sub-standard and just plain bad. The great dramatic moment at the end was a complete dud.

SFX: 0/10 Laughable: both uninteresting and not believable. Zero was too high a score.

Okm so before i go over the obvious and simply repeat what has already been said, i might mention that this movie isn't even listed in booboo stewarts filmography... tell tale sign maybe.

Its awful. Stock cinematic shots, unhealthy pauses, wooden characters, camera angles hellish, full breakdown of plot happened at about 7 minutes. limp. Crew visible in shots, standard continuity not matched... Ella's shirts and hair for one, nails for another. The CGI and "special effects" are abysmal, I've seen better on lower budget movies. Eric Roberts let him self down in a big way, and despite being on screen with his sister, booboo & fivel couldn't have seemed more estranged.

Again, like others i bought this in error. and cant advise you all to keep that 83 minutes of your life... cos I'm never getting them back.