- Joe Lorge: [about Joe Thiesmann breaking his leg] It's too bad that Lawrence Taylor didn't break his leg, because if LT would've broken his leg, he probably wouldn't have felt it because he was so high on coke.
- Dolph Lundgren: [about Brigitte Nielsen] She went from Ivan Drago to Stallone to a rapper. She really went up in the world.
- Michael Ian Black: [about the Guess "Obsession" commercials] It was just a lot of attractive, androgynous people whispering, "Obsession."
- Alan Thicke: [about Joe Thiesmann breaking his leg on "Monday Night Football"] Nothing has sounded so terrible at a football game until Ashlee Simpson at the Orange Bowl.
- Chris Wylde: [about My Buddy dolls] In the '80s, we started giving dolls to boys. Twenty years later, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Put it together.