User Reviews

It's illuminating, I think, to consider the fact that "bad" movies have as much complexity and dimensionality, in their way, as "good" movies. After all, there are nearly as many facets to a bad movie is there are to a good movie. Just like a good movie, a bad movie must have music, sound effects, visual effects, a story, actors and acting, lighting, recording, editing, and so on.

In the same way that you could take an entire university course on what made "Citizen Kane" a great movie, you COULD similarly take such a course on what made "American Conjuring" a bad movie. You wouldn't want to do it, of course, but the point is that there would be that much information to study and learn about what made it such an incredibly awful picture.

That being the case, it would take far more than the space I have here to fully elaborate on the depth and breadth of the execrable- ness of this movie.

But I will make one observation. For every human endeavor, and especially in art of any kind, sometimes an example is so incredibly appalling that it makes you feel bad for the people involved with it. You get the sense that they've "been punished enough" by simply being associated with such a steaming pile that you don't want to be responsible for adding to their misery. Let them mercifully scatter into the dark and concealing night.

"American Conjuring" ALMOST achieves that forgivable state. Almost.

The reason it DOESN'T is because the movie is CALLED "American Conjuring". Anyone with a suspicious mind might think that the creators of this movie were attempting to capitalize on the success of other relatively recent but unrelated movies that have the word "conjuring" in their titles, and that they were hoping to confuse people into paying good money to watch this fly-blown manure accidentally. This would suggest evil intent and malice aforethought rather than a sad and hapless set of talentless people tragically exposed for their artlessness.

Personally, I'm not suspicious of such a thing at all. Nope. Not suspicious.

The sound and video masters for this movie need to be taken out on a moonless night and buried deep beneath cursed ground, sprinkled with salt, and hosed down with holy water. I'm precluded from suggesting what should happen to the people responsible for it.

Where do I start, oh boy!!!! This movie had the potential to become a good horror piece, instead its a 'sh**' horror piece. Seriously what was the director thinking, or should I say why wasn't he thinking? So many bad scenes, bad camera angles, over the top acting, weak script, story started really well but what the F*** happened with the ending? Was he dreaming everything while out cold? Or was it the alternate ending?

When the wife looks at the drawings, the same image is shown like 3 times. When the husband keeps saying, "I saw her" the wife doesn't even bother to ask "Who". She just keeps yelling and yelling. Why wasn't this movie made sensibly?

Towards the end the movie suggested that Ben and Laura had an affair. Nothing was established. They should have at least shown us the flashback or given us some idea about the events that they both are talking about. But if the whole thing was a dream then that would have been senseless too.

All in all this movie sucked. Please save your time and do not watch it. I am giving this 2 star only for the effort, and also because I never give any film 1 star.

No great stuff to write here, just a (very) small chuckle for the title of a horror film set and filmed in Canada. If they'd left the original title 'Bind' it would at least have been a bit different. Regular (read boring and predictable) stuff happens here and the movie - especially the ending - has no cohesion or clear story line.

When one can't produce a scary enough story, they always go for killing animals - people hate that. Kill 100 people, okay - but kill one dog, oh the horror!

BUT if you want to fast forward to the end, you'll see a lot of famous names (and horror sites) listed under "Special Thanks". I wonder how many of them would pay to be removed from that list?

The other reviews are fairly accurate. The plot isn't that bad but the actual script is ridiculous. There are so many moments in this movie that make you angry and wish there was a way to slap the director in the face.

The teenager forced to call her stepfather "dad", the arguments and anger between the family are over the top. The way the mother finds the pictures drawn by the child and as she cycles through them the same image is shown every time. So many moments when someone does something and the reaction from the other actor is just stupid.

The imagery / editing / audio was fine so no complaints there. Please only watch if you're bored.

***spoiler dead ahead***This thing has nothing at all to do with The Conjuring or any of its sequels/prequels***well.i managed to make it twenty eight minutes and forty eight seconds before calling it quits.man this was an awful excuse for a movie.the acting was abysmal as was the dialogue.i haven't seen a movie this awful in a long time.i really believe they broke a five dollar bill to make this thing.i.m not saying I could do any better,although I do have a few friends,a five dollar bill and a camera.only four other people have reviewed this schlock.i don't know if they all made it to the end or not.but if I could,i would gladly pay for the years of therapy they have ahead of them.this thing was so bad I could actually smell it.i could go on and on,but you get the point.for me,American Conjuring is a 1/10,but I am rounding down to zero.

The entire movie is predicated on the idea that a family moves into a house where something bad happened - 3 girls were murdered by another girl (that was possessed) that subsequently committed suicide.

The family moves in, the former owner of the house shows up and tries to convince the family to leave because "something bad happened" but is interrupted by the real estate guy.

The family is like: "Huh. I wonder what happened here." and promptly moves in. Hello? 2016 anyone?

The teenage daughter in the movie is on her smartphone texting like all the frigging time. She should be able to Google all the details about the house like 30 seconds after the creepy incident. But nooo... Things have to spiral out of control and then they meet with the former owner who gives them a scrap-book with the newspapers clips about the murders that happened in 2004 - you know, back in the day when EVERYBODY WAS ALREADY ONLINE AND NOT USING SCRAPBOOKS TO STORE NEWSPAPER CUT-OUTS.

The person who made this movie is either 100 years old and their world stopped in 1993 or 16 years old and thinks 2004 was in the Middle Ages.

Other than that: Boring. Incoherent story. Sex scene and a shower scene with zero nudity (if your budget is so low you cannot get the lady to even show her naked back to imply nudity, skip the sex scene and the shower scene please, it is just pathetic...).

This movie can be summed up in one line: If the family owns a dog, kill it. Yep, that's the quality fill it is. The dog barks, so the guy chops it up with an ax (off camera), with barely anyone giving it a second thought.

There was absolutely no attempt to build tension, develop characters, or create an atmosphere. The movie opens with the murders at the orphanage, then does a quick cut to a reporter telling all, followed by the family buying the house. Why? At least in the Amityville Horror, the family knew that they were gettig a deal because of tragedy. Even when the girl comes right out and says, "you don\t get a house for the price Ben is paying," the stupid parents don't think a thing about it. All of a sudden, there is bloodletting everywhere. And not even good, schlock horror bloodletting. After a while there is even a "Christine" moment, when headlights come on accompanied by the same musical sting as in Christine. Ugh.

Finally, the twist ending doesn't work. Did the house decide it made a mistake and hit the rewind button? Did time really rewind, meaning everyone (including the dog) was still alive? Or did the house just say, "Okay, Ben, you had your chance and you went nuts too fast on me. Let the girls play now" and incapacitate him long enough for them to kill him? Either way, except for the dog, I don't think I really care.

It was bad. Just bad. If you can't catch it on free Pluto TV, like I did, then don't try to catch it at all. Even a Red Box rental is too much to pay.

Yep, only 20 mins in... Only 20 mins in and I'm ready to gouge my eyes out, shove pens in my ears, and then slit my wrists and throat. Ok so the last part was stretching it... Wow, where to begin. Might as well start with the acting, because it's like the singer's voice in a band, it'l make or break it. Yeah this acting shattered it. Just awful...I mean... do they audition these people? Do they just say, "Who's willing to work for free?" K everyone who raised their hand, you're hired! There's a little 3 min news story at the beginning of the movie laying out the history and bad things that happened. Best and only good part of the movie. Laid out a descent horror story. Boy did it fail to measure up. Ok so, I'm gonna finish suffering through this so none of y'all who are smart enough to read reviews before watching movies, can be spared the torture this movie spews out. I'll come back at the end to update and finish this review.

"Bind" and "American Conjuring" are the same film. A family takes possession of a haunted house and vice versa. Ghost film turns into a slasher and Darren Matheson's character turns the movie into a stinker. The acting was bad and the drama written for the couple didn't make any sense...and speaking of no sense what was the do-over? Where did that suddenly come from? The other stupid twist would have been better if the audience knew about it, which would have explained why "dad" had a "stick up his.." and mom wasn't much better. .

Then there is the moody 17 year old daughter (Mackenzie Mowat) who hates her step-dad and half-sister. She is not allowed to say the "S" word, but has a smart phone cover with the "F" word spelled out. Go figure that parenting.

Would have been decent if they had been able to script a better character for Ben without the cliché lines.

Guide: F-word. brief sex. Some gore with sledge hammer, knife, drill, and ax.