- Vince: [trying to drag Vince across the floor] Be careful, I'm in agony here.
- Molly Flynn: Oh, really? Cause I'm having the time of my life!
- Vince: This would be a lot easier if you oiled my fanny.
- Molly Flynn: For the third time, NO!
- Mike Biggs: [Vince is on the couch, naked under a blanket] Are we having soup?
- Molly Flynn: No, it's for Baby Bear and you're feeding him, Papa.
- Mike Biggs: I just walked in the door!
- Molly Flynn: Hey, wanna know what I found when I walked in the door?
- Molly Flynn: [lifts Vince's blanket] That! Naked and wet in the bathtub! Look at it!
- [Mike turns away, disgusted]
- Molly Flynn: Look at it! Look at it!
- Vince: For God's sake, I'm a human being!
- Molly Flynn: Let's take a hair sample and see what a biologist has to say about it!
- Molly Flynn: Quit ringing the bell, Quasimodo.
- Vince: I was kind of hoping for Mike. I want him to turn me on my side cause I need to break wind.
- Molly Flynn: Do you have any boundaries at all?
- Molly Flynn: Thank God you're home, I need your help.
- Victoria Flynn: What's going on?
- Molly Flynn: Mom's gone missing, I've had to take care of Vince. I had to drag his wet, naked body out of the tub and onto the couch.
- Victoria Flynn: Eeewwww.
- Molly Flynn: I can still hear his squeaky butt cheeks... dragging across the bathroom tiles.
- Victoria Flynn: Stop it Molly, you're scaring me!
- Molly Flynn: You don't know fear until you've splashed down face first into the briny depths that is Vincent Muranto!
- Joyce Flynn: I didn't sign up for this. Vince is supposed to be my young stud. He's supposed to take care of me!
- Molly Flynn: Yeah, he almost paralyzed himself taking care of you.
- Joyce Flynn: Don't start. First he throws his back out having sex, then he breaks a hip having sex, then he has a heart attack having sex.
- Molly Flynn: What kind of sex are you guys having? No, don't tell me, you've already ruined stawberries for me.
- Mike Biggs: Oh, what happened?
- Vince: I threw my back out.
- Molly Flynn: That's what you get for doing it on the floor.
- Joyce Flynn: We weren't doing it on the floor. We're not animals.
- Vince: Yeah, we were doing it in reverse, prairie dog style and I slipped on a strawberry.
- Mike Biggs: That's what happened to the strawberries.
- Molly Flynn: Well, let's lift him and get him onto the bed.
- Joyce Flynn: Wait, wait, he's covered in coconut oil.
- Mike Biggs: I was wondering why I was craving a Mounds bar.
- Mike Biggs: [reading a thank you card he just wrote] 'Thank you for the sliver cundlestucks'. I may not be right handed!
- Joyce Flynn: [In the middle of having sex with Vince, Joyce runs into Mike and Molly's room] Hurry, I think I broke Vince!
- Molly Flynn: Great, now we can't return him.