Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, The Sniper, 90s Kid

Quotes 

• Linkara : Oh yeah, you did a great job of "saving him." I especially liked the part where you didn't save him at all, they managed to get away on their own, and then you nuked New Jersey.

• Linkara : Yeah, it wasn't the apocalypse that killed them, they'd just been waiting on the runway for too long.

• Linkara : Unfortunately, the apocalypse turned out to be a big disappointment, so we're all still here. But in fiction, apocalypses are as common as streetlamps. So naturally, this dumbass series actually filled out its six-issue run, and here we are, talking about it.

• Linkara : Previously on "Kamandi at Earth's End", Kamandi is the last boy on Earth, except he's not, because it's an Elseworlds tale, where, instead of it being a "Planet of the Apes" ripoff, it's a ripoff of... uh, every post-apocalyptic movie ever, but even dumber. Kamandi has been sent out of his bunker by... Mother Machine... or Machine Mother; they seem to swap it around a lot... to try to hunt down the man who caused the Second Apocalypse. And along the way, he met a biker, a woman with bizarre pants, mutants, and robotic chicken people. Everyone has huge guns, the dialogue sucks, and Kamandi is a perverted idiot. So, let's dig into "Kamandi at Earth's End #3" and find out... nothing. We will find out nothing, because this series was a waste of time.

• Linkara : [reading text on the cover]  "Cruisin' Thunder Road!"

  [looks up] 

  Linkara : Oh, yeah. I mean, a comic about trying to hunt down and murder a guy has so much to do with a Springsteen song about a couple trying to run off and make things work. Unless it's a reference to the Robert Mitchum movie. I wouldn't be shocked by that, actually, considering the amount of booze necessary for this comic's creation.

• [Kamandi tells Saphira, who wants to read books at a library in Washington, D.C., that they have no time for book-reading] 

  Saphira : Are you some kind of ignorant dog? Books are the best thing there is!

  Linkara : Look, Saphria, I'm sure you enjoyed "Reading Rainbow" as a kid, but I think after the apocalypse, you need to start prioritizing.

  Saphira : [to Kamandi]  Books are full of *thinking!*

  Linkara : Clearly, you've never read anything by Stephanie Meyer.

  Saphira : [to Kamandi]  Don't you like to think?

  Linkara : Oh, Saphira, you've only just met Kamandi. Thinking is number 16 on his priorities list, right after whining about his computer mommy and operating ridiculous weaponry.

• [the Library of Congress has been destroyed by the Biomechs, but Kamandi's crew manage to escape in the nick of time] 

  Saphira : Thousands of lovely books, blown to dust!

  Zom : Guess we'll have to write some of our own!

  Linkara : Could you start by making a better book than this one?

  [holds up comic]