- Max Black: I love a road trip. My mom and I took one in third grade for like a year but we'd just drive around locally - and oh my God I lived in a car!
- Caroline Channing: [brings Andy a birthday cupcake with a candle atop it] Happy birthday! Now come on, blow.
- Andy: I don't really feel like doing that.
- Max Black: Welcome to our world.
- Caroline Channing: [Caroline is mad that Max spoiled Caroline's surprise for Andy] Oh, damn it, Max, now you did give it all away.
- [to Andy]
- Caroline Channing: We were gonna do missionary and... the other one. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I forgot. I don't know how. I knew today was your birthday
- Andy: It's tomorrow.
- Max Black: So, yippee! She hasn't missed it. All is right with the world.
- [Max laughs]
- Max Black: I'm gonna go visit the Berenstains.
- [Max runs to the door]
- Andy: [to Caroline] This weekend wasn't about my birthday was it?
- Max Black: [Max is frantically knocking on the door] Come on, come on. Get your hand out of his honey pot and get over here.
- [Max continues knocking]
- Max Black: I'll be gone in a second and then you guys can jump-start your sex life again.
- [Max laughs]
- Caroline Channing: [to Max] What do you mean "jump-start"?
- [to Andy]
- Caroline Channing: How could you tell Max that we haven't had sex? You haven't even discussed that with me.
- Max Black: Come on, aliens, if you're ever gonna abduct me, this would be the time.
- Caroline Channing: [Caroline and Andy are sitting on a swinging bed] Andy, I'm sorry about your birthday. It just went out of my head. I feel bad.
- Andy: And I feel sick. Can you stop swinging the bed?
- Caroline Channing: Sorry. I'm nervous.
- Andy: Yeah, you're nervous a lot. Which is why our other bed isn't moving at all.
- [Andy gets up to leave]
- Caroline Channing: No, no, no, don't go. Come back. Come back to the sex bed. Let's get some sex going. Come on. We can get this bed moving now. See? See?
- [Caroline gets on top of the bed and starts moving back and forth with it]
- Caroline Channing: Hi. Oh, hi.
- [Caroline then starts to grind her butt back and fourth to arouse Andy]
- Caroline Channing: Oh, It's your birthday, it's your birthday.
- Andy: It's tomorrow.
- Caroline Channing: Okay, okay. I can do better. See?
- [Caroline starts to swing back and fourth on the bed again]
- Caroline Channing: Here we go now. Here we go.
- [Caroline then starts to twirl around on the bed rope]
- Caroline Channing: Wanna see me tweark it? Oh! Wanna see me tweark it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.
- [Caroline gets off the bed rope]
- Caroline Channing: If I'd had any food, I would throw up.
- Caroline Channing: Pretty soon. Max and I will be out of this rough patch and full-force with business, weddings, big events and Max and I will open another store, get a bigger apartment.
- Andy: Okay, and am I in there somewhere?
- Caroline Channing: Oh, come on, I was getting to you.
- Andy: Were you? When? When were you getting to me? After your business is a success?
- Caroline Channing: No, now. Come on, sex time in the sex bed.
- [Caroline gets out of her chair and rolls over on the bed but she falls off and hits the floor]
- Caroline Channing: Oh!
- [while on the floor]
- Caroline Channing: Wanna do it on the floor?