- Cory Matthews: You were so busy trying to be her, Riley, you forgot the best thing you can do for her, is be you.
- Lucas Friar: Hey, this isn't so different from Texas. Look, there's a pony.
- Farkle Minkus: That's a rat.
- Riley Matthews: Dad, you have a choice here. You can either understand that this is just a boy talking to me in the cafeteria...
- Cory Matthews: I'm gonna do whatever you say next.
- Riley Matthews: This is so innocent.
- Cory Matthews: Honey, fathers don't see anything as innocent. We see it as... what's the opposite of innocent?
- Maya Hart: [raising her hand] Right here.
- Riley Matthews: [Running in excited] Mom, my teacher followed me home. Can we keep him, please? Can we keep him, please?
- [Seriously]
- Riley Matthews: Please say no.