The Secret Life of Pets (2016)

Louis C.K.: Max

Photos 

Quotes 

• [from trailer] 

  Gidget : Hey, Max.

  Max : Hey, Gidget.

  Gidget : Any plans today?

  Max : Yes. Big, big stuff today, Gidget. I got big plans. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna wait for Katie to come back.

  Gidget : Oh, that sounds exciting. Well, I won't interrupt. I've got a very busy day too.

  [sighs] 

• Max : Maybe the legend of dogs coming from wolves is jus... is just wrong. Maybe, like, maybe one puppy asked his mom, "Where did we come from?" And the mom said "Woof." And the kid was like, "Oh wolves?" And she was like, "Yeah, fine."

• Max : Do you see the van?

  Snowball : Yeah, I see it... We're about to hit it

• Max : [after Duke accidentally causes a vase to crash to the floor]  Oh, Duke. Duke, Katie is not... Katie's gonna be so upset when she sees that... Katie's... gonna flip out...

  [looks around mischievously] 

  Max : ... when she sees how... you trashed her whole place.

  Duke : Oh, it's just...

  [scratches behind ear] 

  Duke : It's just one vase.

  Max : Is it, Duke? Is it?

  [Kicks a vase off a table] 

  Max : Oh that's a shame.

  [pushes a bunch of papers onto the ground] 

  Duke : What are you doing?

  Max : Whoa, what am I doing? Nothing. I'm a cute little doggy. Katie knows I'd never do anything like this

  [pushes a table making it start to tip over] 

  Duke : No, no. Whoa!

  [runs and manages to keep the table from falling over] 

  Max : This can only be the work of...

  [pushes some books off a shelf] 

  Max : ... a dangerous stray, Who hasn't laid down a foundation of trust.

  [walks along a counter-top, knocking things over] 

  Max : You're the new dog. And, hey Duke, what'd you go and do this for?

  [pushes a bowl of fruit to the ground] 

  Duke : Oh! I'm gonna...

  Max : What? Bite me? Rip my face off? Perfect. Wait till Katie finds out.

  [imitates an injured dog] 

  Max : Oh! Help, Katie! Thank goodness you're here! I tried to stop him, but he's crazy!

• [first lines] 

  Max : [narrating]  I've lived in this city all my life. I'm Max. And I'm the luckiest dog in New York because of her. That's Katie. Katie and I, well, we have the perfect relationship. We met a few years ago and, boy, let me tell ya', we got along right away. You know, it was one of those relationships where... where you just know.

• [last lines] 

  Max : Welcome home, Duke.

  Duke : Thanks, Max.

• Max : [In the sewers with Snowball]  The smell is disgusting...

  [Snowball glances at him suspiciously] 

  Max : ... ly good!

• Max : Hey, uh, Gidget, wait up.

  Gidget : Oh, uh, hi, Max.

  [her tail starts wagging] 

  Max : Yeah, uh...

  Gidget : [to her tail]  Play it cool!

  [Her tail stops wagging, and she giggles] 

  Max : Yeah, I just wanted to, uh...

  [clears throat] 

  Max : Look. Have you ever lived across from someone your whole life, but you don't really appreciate them until... I don't know, until they're beating up dozens of animals on the Brooklyn Bridge? I guess, what I'm trying to say is... if you ever want to...

  [Gidget wags her tail, and her eyes lighten up. Then she barks and happily hops onto Max and starts licking him and nuzzling him] 

  Max : Okay!

  Pops : Oh, great, you're in love! How gross for everyone! Now, move it!

• Duke : [angry, after he barked at the family]  Why did you bring me here, Max?

  Max : Wait a minute. This is my fault? I was trying to help you!

  Duke : You were trying to get rid of me!

  Max : You know what, Duke? I don't need this. I'll see you later.

  [Max suddenly gets captured by the animal control, Duke saves him] 

  Duke : GO HOME, MAX!

  [Duke gets put into the animal control truck, Max chases]