- Amber Weaver: Tell me again why living like homeless people is considered a vacation.
- Marty Weaver: Amber, this tent is so luxurious, you're not even going to know you're camping.
- Max Weaver: If we're not going to know we're camping, why do we even have to go camping?
- Dominick Weaver: I bet even your boyfriend, President Osama, is handier than you are, and he went to Harvard. Supposedly.
- Marty Weaver: Dad, you have to stop reading those emails.
- Jackie Joyner-Kersee: You all look so cozy. Dick, are you sure you want to sleep with the Weaver kids?
- Dick Butkus: Oh yes. I'm looking forward to smelling the humans' sleep breath.
- Max Weaver: And I'm out!