Brothers and Sisters, pagans and Pan paniscus-bonobo sapiens, whippers and snappers, heart-shaped butts and ancient history nuts... Friends, Romans, Countrywomen, lend me your ears... I come to bury Valentine's Day... Not to praise it... Sorry to mangle Shakespeare's words, but here's the deal: Valentine's Day is fake news concocted by the early Catholic Church, enhanced by Hallmark, sweetened by See's, polished by DaBeers and abetted by Amazon.