- Marshall Eriksen: Do I have to be in New York for this?
- Rand: Yes.
- Marshall Eriksen: I can't telecommute?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: I couldn't be the crazy speaker phone judge?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: Could I be a hologram?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: An animatronic robot like Abe Lincoln from the Hall of Presidents that I control from afar with a joystick?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: Do you remember the giant Jor-El head from Superman?
- Rand: Yes!
- Marshall Eriksen: Well... what if I...
- Rand: No.
- [last lines]
- The Girl with the Yellow Umbrella: [at the ticket booth, face revealed] Hi. One ticket to Farhampton, please.
- Robin Scherbatsky: A week from today we're going to be legen -wait for it...
- Barney Stinson: Married!
- Robin Scherbatsky, Barney Stinson: Legenmarried!
- Barney Stinson: Robin Scherbatsky... I love you so damn much.
- Barney Stinson: I love you too, Barney Scherbatsky. That sounds good: think about it.
- Ted Mosby: I have looked high and low for someone I can love and adore and cook waffles for. The closest I've come is Marshall.
- Lily Aldrin: Ted, you did this all yourself?
- Ted Mosby: Just like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. It's pretty manly until I mentioned "Ryan Gosling in The Notebook," huh?
- Lily Aldrin: Even I haven't seen it, Ted.
- Marshall Eriksen: Can I maybe start a year from Tuesday?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: Gotta be a week from Tuesday?
- Rand: Yes.
- Marshall Eriksen: And I would be a real judge.
- Rand: Yes.
- Marshall Eriksen: With a robe?
- Rand: Yes.
- Marshall Eriksen: Gavel?
- Rand: Yes.
- Marshall Eriksen: Wacky Southern accent?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: [In Southern accent] Now, councilman, are you absolutely sure...
- Rand: Yes.
- Marshall Eriksen: Is there any way that I could do this and also spend the next year of my life in Italy with my wife?
- Rand: No.
- Marshall Eriksen: This is such a big decision. I'm not good at big decisions.
- Rand: Are you sure you wanna be a judge?
- Lily Aldrin: You didn't tell your mom about Rome?
- Marshall Eriksen: It didn't feel right! This isn't an over-the-phone news, this is face-to-face news! I was gonna tell her when we see her in Christmas!
- Lily Aldrin: You were gonna wait and tell her after we've been living there for six months? That... was a great plan! Dammit!
- Barney Stinson: He's checking out the hostess. Now, a guy who's happily in a relationship sees a girl like that, he'll check her out maybe 14, 15 times, tops.
- [Barney looks at the hostess closely]
- Barney Stinson: 16 times, tops.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Did those two just become our arch enemies?
- Barney Stinson: No, Robin, they've always been our arch enemies. They've only just revealed themselves.
- Marcus: You still haven't told her
- Marshall Eriksen: No. This is face-to-face news.
- Marcus: Good luck with that, your Honour.