- Stede Bonnet: Look, I've been a failure my whole life. It's not so bad once ya get used to it. Things have a, a way of working out.
- Stede Bonnet: You could try thanking me, by the way. I did, uh, pull you to safety.
- Zheng Yi Sao: I pulled you to safety.
- Stede Bonnet: Did you? Well, don't wanna split hairs. The main thing is we're alive.
- Roach: [after the pirate grooms exchange vows] You may now slash each other's faces! Or kiss or something if you're not into tradition.