- Mrs. Lurkin: Oscar's my little boy and I don't think I could ever leave him with a babysitter.
- Cat Valentine: Why not?
- Mrs. Lurkin: He's very clumsy. He's just always getting hurt.
- Carl: He's an embarrassment to the whole family.
- Cat Valentine: Oh, he's accident prune?
- Mrs. Lurkin: You mean accident prone.
- Cat Valentine: Nah, I'm pretty sure it's prune.
- Carl: I like prunes.
- [silence]
- Carl: I'll wander off.
- Cat Valentine: Oscar?
- Oscar: Yes, ma'am?
- Cat Valentine: Um, don't you want us to take you out for lunch?
- Sam Puckett: No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Cat Valentine: But...
- Sam Puckett: His mom said we can't take him anywhere or do anything with him.
- Cat Valentine: Since when do you do what anyone says?
- Sam Puckett: Since it means I'm getting paid 10 bucks an hour for napping.
- Sam Puckett: [to Cat] It's almost dark. We are not taking the kid to play golf.
- Cat Valentine: Can't we just go to one of those places where you hit the golf balls?
- Sam Puckett: Dude...
- Cat Valentine: What could go wrong?
- Sam Puckett: What could go wrong? Remember when he tried to take a wazz and landed upside-down in our toilet?
- Cat Valentine: That happens to me all the time.
- Mrs. Lurkin: [to Sam and Cat] What kind of babysitters are you?
- Cat Valentine: Usually we do a pretty decent job.
- Sam Puckett: Your kid's got some real problems.
- Mrs. Lurkin: You think I don't know that? It's why I gave you specific rules which you just ignored.
- Cat Valentine: We didn't just ignore your rules.
- Sam Puckett: We thought about 'em, then we ignored 'em.
- Mrs. Lurkin: Come on, Oscar. I'm taking you away from these irresponsible girls right now.
- Oscar: No!
- Mrs. Lurkin: What?
- Oscar: First, you apologize to Sam and Cat.
- Mrs. Lurkin: Apologize? For what?
- Oscar: For shouting at them after they gave me the best day of my life. Yeah, I got hurt. Real bad. But for the first time in my life, I had fun. I went to the bathroom alone. I saw gum in ball form. I felt hot cheese and I went to a place of golf.
- Cat Valentine: We had fun with you too, Oscar.
- Sam Puckett: Mmm, kinda.
- Mrs. Lurkin: Oh, Oscar, what is your point?
- Oscar: That living life, trying new things... it's worth getting a little hurt sometimes.
- Cat Valentine: Yeah. Haven't you heard the 47 songs that say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?