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"Game of Thrones" The Laws of Gods and Men (TV Episode 2014) Poster

Quotes

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[last lines]

Tyrion Lannister: Father, I wish to confess. I wish to confess!

Tywin Lannister: You wish to confess?

Tyrion Lannister: [to the crowd] I saved you. I saved this city. All your worthless lives. I should have let Stannis kill you all.

[crowd becomes outraged]

Tywin Lannister: Tyrion, do you wish to confess?

Tyrion Lannister: Yes, father. I'm guilty. Guilty. Is that what you want to hear?

Tywin Lannister: You admit you poisoned the king?

Tyrion Lannister: No. Of that, I'm innocent. I'm guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I'm guilty of being a dwarf.

Tywin Lannister: You are not on trial for being a dwarf.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh, yes I am. I've been on trial for that my entire life.

Tywin Lannister: Have you nothing to say in your defense?

Tyrion Lannister: Nothing but this: I did not do it.

[to Cersei]

Tyrion Lannister: I did not kill Joffrey, but I wish that I had! Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores!

[to the crowd]

Tyrion Lannister: I wish I was the monster you think I am! I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you! I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!

[crowd outbursts again]

Tywin Lannister: Ser Meryn! Ser Meryn, escort the prisoner back to his cell!

Tyrion Lannister: I will not give my life for Joffery's murder and I know I'll get no justice here, so I will let the gods decide my fate. I demand a trial by combat.

[the crowd is shocked]

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Oberyn Martell: 'Tis a big and beautiful world. Most of us live and die in the same corner where we were born and never get to see any of it. I don't want to be most of us.

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Lord Varys: When I see what desire does to people, what it's done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it. Besides, the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things.

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Tyrion Lannister: Not going well, is it?

Jaime Lannister: You're going to be found guilty.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh! You think so?

Jaime Lannister: When you are, you need to enter a formal plea for mercy and asked to be sent to the Wall. Father's agreed to it. He'll spare your life and allow you to join the Night's Watch.

Tyrion Lannister: Ned Stark was promised the same thing, and we both know how that turned out.

Jaime Lannister: My father isn't Joffrey. He'll keep his word.

Tyrion Lannister: How do you know?

Jaime Lannister: Do you trust me?

[Tyrion nods mildly]

Jaime Lannister: Keep your mouth shut, no more outbursts. This will all be over soon.

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Tycho Nestoris: Welcome to the Iron Bank. Please... sit.

[Stannis, who has been kept waiting for hours, very slowly and deliberately takes a seat in front of the bankers]

Tycho Nestoris: What can we do for you, Lord Stannis?

Davos Seaworth: [still standing] This is Stannis of the House Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.

[Nestoris motions for Davos to sit; he does]

Tycho Nestoris: The Iron Throne is currently occupied by Tommen of the House Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.

Stannis Baratheon: He shares no blood with me. He is a bastard, born of incest, as was his brother before him.

Tycho Nestoris: Yes, we have heard this story.

Stannis Baratheon: It's not a story. It's the truth.

Tycho Nestoris: The king's grandfather tells a different story. A story about a jealous uncle whose attempt to usurp the throne from the rightful king cost the Seven Kingdoms dearly, in blood and gold.

Stannis Baratheon: Gold you loaned him.

Tycho Nestoris: And you feel your blood gives you a claim on our gold?

Stannis Baratheon: More than any man living.

Tycho Nestoris: Across the Narrow Sea, your books are filled with words like "usurper" and "madman" and "blood right." Here, our books are filled with numbers. We prefer the stories they tell. More plain. Less... open to interpretation. How many fighting men remain loyal to you?

Stannis Baratheon: Four thousand.

Tycho Nestoris: And how many ships do you have?

Davos Seaworth: Uh...

Tycho Nestoris: The ones still afloat, Ser Davos, not at the bottom of Blackwater Bay.

[Davos clears his throat uncomfortably]

Davos Seaworth: Thirty-two.

Tycho Nestoris: And how much wheat and barley and beef and pork do you produce on Dragonstone to feed your four thousand men on your thirty-two ships?

Stannis Baratheon: None.

Tycho Nestoris: You can see why these numbers are unlikely to add up to a happy ending... from our perspective. I'm afraid we must respectfully decline your request. But we thank you for paying us the honor of your visit.

Davos Seaworth: [tries desperately to salvage the situation] My lord...

Tycho Nestoris: I'm not a lord, Ser Davos Seaworth. You would not be either, here. In Braavos, thieves are not rewarded with titles.

Davos Seaworth: Well, strictly speaking, I didn't do the thieving, that would be the pirates. I just moved what they stole from one place to another.

[Davos removes the glove from his left hand, revealing his shortened fingers]

Davos Seaworth: This is the payment that was demanded by King Stannis for my crimes. I consider it an honest accounting. He's an honest man, and he's your best chance to get back the money you've sunk into Westeros, which is a lot, I imagine. Wars are expensive.

Tycho Nestoris: The war is over.

Davos Seaworth: As long as Stannis lives, the war is NOT over. Who's the real power in King's Landing?

Tycho Nestoris: Ser Davos...

Davos Seaworth: Now, humor me.

Tycho Nestoris: Tywin Lannister.

Davos Seaworth: How old is Tywin Lannister?

Tycho Nestoris: Sixty-seven.

Davos Seaworth: Sixty-seven, and when he dies, who's in command? A half-grown boy, the product of incest? Cersei Lannister, the queen whose people despise her? Jaime Lannister, the man best known for killing the king he was sworn to protect? When Tywin's gone, who do you back?

Tycho Nestoris: That is a problem for another time.

Davos Seaworth: Begging your pardon, I think it's a problem for now. There's only one reliable leader left in Westeros: Stannis. He's got the birthright. He's in his prime. He's a tried and tested battle commander, and he doesn't just talk about paying people back, he does it.

[Davos holds up his mutilated hand again]

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Ramsay Snow: Do you love me, Reek?

Theon Greyjoy: Yes, of course, my lord.

Ramsay Snow: Good. Because I need you to do something for me. Something very important. There's a castle, you see. Some bad men hold this castle. I need your help to take this castle back.

Theon Greyjoy: But how can...

Ramsay Snow: I need you to play a role. To pretend to be someone you're not.

Theon Greyjoy: Pretend to be who?

Ramsay Snow: Theon Greyjoy.

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Jaime Lannister: You condemned your own son to death.

Tywin Lannister: I condemned no one. The trial is not over.

Jaime Lannister: This isn't a trial, it's a farce. Cersei has manipulated everything and you know it.

Tywin Lannister: I know nothing of the sort.

Jaime Lannister: You always hated Tyrion.

Tywin Lannister: He killed his king!

Jaime Lannister: As did I! Do you know the last order the 'Mad King' gave me? It was to bring him your head. I saved your life so you could murder my brother?

Tywin Lannister: It won't be murder it will be justice.

Jaime Lannister: Justice?

Tywin Lannister: I am performing my sworn duty as Hand of the King. If Tyrion is found guilty, he will be punished accordingly.

Jaime Lannister: He will be executed.

Tywin Lannister: No! He'll be punished accordingly!

Jaime Lannister: Once you said family is what lives on. All that lives on. You told me about a dynasty that would last 1,000 years. What happens to your dynasty when Tyrion dies? I'm a Kingsguard, forbidden by oath to carry on the family line.

Tywin Lannister: I'm well aware of your oath.

Jaime Lannister: What happens to your name? Who carries the lion banner into future battles? Your nephews? Lancel Lannister? Others whose names I don't even remember?

Tywin Lannister: What happens to my dynasty if I spare the life of my grandson's killer?

Jaime Lannister: It survives, through me. I'll leave the Kingsguard, I'll take my place as your son and heir, if you let Tyrion live.

Tywin Lannister: [immediately responds] Done!

[Jaime looks shocked as if he had made a grave mistake]

Tywin Lannister: When the testimony's concluded and the guilty verdict rendered, Tyrion will be given the chance to speak. He'll plead for mercy. I'll allow him to join the Night's Watch. In three days time he'll depart for Castle Black and live out his days at the wall. You'll remove your white cloak immediately. You'll leave King's Landing to pursue your rightful place at Casterly Rock. You'll marry a suitable woman and father children name Lannister and you'll never turn your back on your family again.

Jaime Lannister: You have my word.

Tywin Lannister: And you have mine.

[Jaime turns and leaves the room]

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Ramsay Snow: This is turning into a lovely evening.

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