Jessie (TV Series)

G.I. Jessie (2013)

Debby Ryan: Jessie Prescott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Darla Shannon : [sees Jessie splattered in food and approaches her]  Jessie?

  [walks over to Jessie's table] 

  Darla Shannon : Jessie Prescott, is that you?

  [chuckles] 

  Darla Shannon : I see you're still having trouble with your table manners!

  Jessie Prescott : [annoyed]  Hey Darla.

  [sarcastically] 

  Jessie Prescott : Nice to see you too.

  Zuri Ross : *That's* Darla? She doesn't look like a witch!

  Jessie Prescott : Oh yeah? Throw some water on her and we can send her home in a bucket!

  Darla Shannon : [Jessie and Darla laugh slightly]  I see you're still babysitting! What happened to that big acting career you were gonna have?

  Jessie Prescott : Oh, it's... it's going well. It just takes time.

  Darla Shannon : Talent might help too. Meanwhile, I've been travelling all over the world as a flight attendant!

  Jessie Prescott : Really? Cuz, I heard you were on the Galveston to Amarillo run. Luckily, I don't have a job where I have to run around waiting on people!

  Ravi Ross : Jessie, I need milk!

  Luke Ross : Jessie, take my tray!

  Zuri Ross : Jessie, my nose is still runny!

  Darla Shannon : At least they're calling you. Unlike *all* the boys in high school!

  Luke Ross : [approaching Darla, annoyed]  Hey, that's my lady you're talking to!

  Darla Shannon : You finally did catch a man! But this one's so small, you might wanna throw him back!

• Jessie Prescott : [running up to Emma and sees her with Caleb]  Emma, what are you doing with Darla's brother?

  Emma Ross : [gazing into his eyes]  Watching his eyes sparkle in the sunlight! See, it's happening right now. And now. And now!

  Darla Shannon : [approaching Caleb and Emma]  Caleb! Stay away from them! You don't wanna be seen with these weaklings!

  Jessie Prescott : [scoffs]  Who're you calling "weak"? You should see this one tear through the mall on Black Friday!

  [Darla stares at Jessie, confused] 

  Emma Ross : [holding up her nails]  I sharpen my nails with diamonds the night before.

  Caleb Shannon : [coming over to Emma]  I love a girl who fights for what she wants!

  Emma Ross : [linking arms with Caleb]  I'd shop for *you* in the hunks department!

  Jessie Prescott , Darla Shannon : [in unison, to Emma and Caleb]  KNOCK IT OFF!

  Emma Ross , Caleb Shannon : [in unison]  WHY?

  Darla Shannon : Because the Prescott's and the Shannon's are sworn enemies.

  Emma Ross : But I'm not a Prescott *or* a Shannon!

  Jessie Prescott : Oh, there's a babysitting clause in the feud; it's... it's complicated; but trust me, you're covered!

  Emma Ross : But I really like Caleb!

  Darla Shannon : Well, tough! You can't go against the feud! Huh, *which* has gone back for years all the way to the 20th century!

  Caleb Shannon : I don't know why our families are fighting!

  Darla Shannon : It all started when our grand pappy Shannon loaned their grand pappy Prescott a corn picker; and he returned it broken!

  Jessie Prescott : It was already broken! Your grand pappy lied to get a new corn picker!

  [Darla chuckles softly and tries to shake it off] 

  Jessie Prescott : That's why they called him "Shifty Shannon"!

  Caleb Shannon : But that's all ancient history!

  Emma Ross : No one even *remembers* the 20th century!

  Darla Shannon : Well, I *do* remember when Jessie borrowed and broke my Queasy Bake Oven!

  Jessie Prescott : It was already broken!

  Darla Shannon : Typical Prescott!

  Emma Ross : Well, Caleb and I don't care about you're shifty grand pappies and your queasy corn pickers!

  Jessie Prescott : [scoffs]  Then *you* are no Prescott!

  Emma Ross : Correct! Despite whatever paperwork you have to the contrary!

  Jessie Prescott : [sees Mrs Kipling approach the dog, Paton, then he whips her tail at Paton]  See? Even Mrs. Kipling's tiny *lizard brain* understands the feud!

  [Mrs Kipling hits Jessie with her tail] 

  Jessie Prescott : Sorry!

  Darla Shannon : [to Caleb]  Caleb, stay away from Emma, OK?

  [then turns to Jessie and says] 

  Darla Shannon : [then turns to Jessie and says]  Like all us cool kids stayed away from Jessie in high school, heh!

  [pulling Caleb by the arm] 

  Darla Shannon : Come on!

  [Caleb walks away from Emma, being dragged by Darla] 

  Jessie Prescott : [calling out after Darla]  Yeah, like I wanted to hang out with you anyway! In the *jerk lounge*, cause you're a JERK!

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : [appearing behind Jessie and heard what she said]  JESSIE! I can't believe you said that!

  Jessie Prescott : Yeah, I know. I should've gone with "loser lounge".

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : I mean, I can't believe you just insulted her!

  Emma Ross : I can't believe you and Darla are ruining my life!

  [running off] 

  Jessie Prescott : OK, she didn't break it down, but it's like 95% Darla.

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : I specifically told you to get along with Darla, and once again, you can't follow a simple order!

  Jessie Prescott : You're my *dad*, not my drill sergeant! You can't order me around anymore! I'm an adult!

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Oh really? Cause you're sure acting like a child!

  Jessie Prescott : Nuh-uh! She started it!

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : I rest my case! You know I was really hoping we weren't gonna argue this weekend, but instead we were right back where we left off. This visit's turning out to be very disappointing.

  [Jessie's dad walks off, upset] 

• Bertram : I never thought of anyone coming back for seconds of *your* gruel!

  Corporal Cookie : [groans]  I don't get it! What does your food have that mine doesn't?

  Bertram : Hmm, flavour, texture, fewer fingernails.

  Jessie Prescott : [coming to the kitchen, upset]  I need 3 gallons of Neapolitan and a weapons grade spoon!

  Bertram : Sorry, tonight's dessert is mini fruit compote.

  Jessie Prescott : That'll do!

  [Jessie takes one of the trays of compote and starts stuffing her face, and sits on one of the large food tins] 

  Jessie Prescott : You're not gonna believe what's going on!

  Bertram : I'm not gonna care either, I'm busy!

  Jessie Prescott : I came here to smooth things over with my dad, but all he seems to care about is if I connect with *Darla*! When all I wanna do is connect her face to a hornet's nest.

  Bertram : [sees Corporal Cookie ladle the chicken with sauce]  NO!

  Jessie Prescott : I'm not actually gonna do it! It wouldn't be fair to the hornets.

  Bertram : I meant, no, don't *drown* my chicken in sauce, *drizzle* it!

  Corporal Cookie : Oh, you mean like this?

  [she flicks sauce on Bertram and it lands on Jessie's shoes] 

  Jessie Prescott : Hey! You spilled that on my fake designer shoes! You owe me 20 bucks! Plus shipping.

  [she stuffs the rest of the compote in her mouth] 

  Corporal Cookie : Does this one ever stop yakking about her problems?

  Bertram : No. Just wait til she starts in about her ex-boyfriends!

  Corporal Cookie : She's single? I'm *shocked*!

  [Bertram and Corporal Cookie laugh loudly to themselves] 

  Jessie Prescott : [sarcastically]  Thanks for the sympathy.

  [stuffs another compote in her mouth] 

  Bertram : Hey, take it easy! I only made 3,000 of those!

  [tries to take the tray away from Jessie, but Jessie pulls it away] 

• Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : [Jessie's dad has caught out Jessie and the kids; after seeing Luke, Zuri and Ravi stick goo onto Darla and sticking her to the wall]  JESSIE!

  Col. Beverly Shannon : [seeing Darla stuck to the wall]  Oh, my stars and stripes! Dar-Dar, is that you?

  Darla Shannon : [stuck to the wall in goo]  Yes, Mummy! Look what they did to me!

  Col. Beverly Shannon : Oh, dear! You look like one of those hideous aliens from Area 51!

  [Jessie, the kids, Darla and Jessie's dad look at her weirdly, with a brief pause] 

  Col. Beverly Shannon : Which completely does not exist.

  [gives them a threatening stare and points at them] 

  Col. Beverly Shannon : And if any of you dare to mention this conversation, there will be a probing in your future!

  [the kids look at each other] 

  Jessie Prescott : [Jessie looks at her dad, worried]  Dad, I know what you're thinking; but, any time there's trouble,

  [points at Darla] 

  Jessie Prescott : Darla is the one who starts it!

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : [looks at the kids, in the B.A.T; and Darla stuck to the wall]  So did she start this?

  Jessie Prescott : [looks at the kids and Darla awkwardly]  OK, maybe this time is a bad example.

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : I've asked you to try and get along with Darla, but instead, you attack her with experimental weaponry?

  Jessie Prescott : [Jessie has had enough of her dad forcing her to get along with Darla]  Why do you care so much if I get along with Darla? After this trip, I'll never have to see her again!

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Oh, yes, you will, because you and Darla are going to be *sisters*!

  Jessie Prescott : [Jessie is shocked at the thought of becoming Darla's step-sister]  WHAT?

  Col. Beverly Shannon : [looking at Jessie and Darla]  That's right, girls. My armored heart has been captured by this

  [looking at J.W] 

  Col. Beverly Shannon : uniformed yum-yum!

  [Beverly and J.W smooch in front of Jessie and Darla and both of them express looks of disgust] 

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : So, we wanted you to become friends before we told you, but now, we're out of time.

  [looking at Beverly, smiling] 

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Our wedding is tomorrow.

  Jessie Prescott : [shocked and confused]  Wait, tomorrow? As in... the day after today?

  Col. Beverly Shannon : Yes, if I can wait that long.

  [looking into space] 

  Col. Beverly Shannon : The only man I've had in my life for the last 10 years is Uncle Sam.

  [doing the Uncle Sam pose at J.W] 

  Col. Beverly Shannon : Now I want *you*!

  Jessie Prescott : [shocked]  Wait, so, *that's* why you wanted me to come home?

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Yes! And that's why I invited *you*

  [looking at the kids] 

  Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : , not these little threats to national security! Now, get out of my B.A.T! I had the seat just where I liked it!

  Ravi Ross : [the kids slowly start to get out of the B.A.T]  We are extremely sorry, sir. Even though I did not do anything, and it was all Luke's fault.

  [Ravi accidentally presses a button on the B.A.T and it foams both J.W and Beverly] 

  Ravi Ross : OK, that one is on me. By the way, for the wedding; can you put me down for a vegetarian meal?

  [Beverly and JW look at the kids in horror, trying to get the foam off] 

• Bertram : [opening lines]  No! No! *NO!*

  Jessie Prescott : You just have to watch the kids for one measly weekend.

  [begging Bertram] 

  Jessie Prescott : Please?

  Bertram : No! Walking away. Don't follow!

  [Jessie walks behind Bertram] 

  Bertram : You're following.

  Jessie Prescott : Bertram, it's a big deal that my dad invited me home! He was *really* mad when I left for New York instead of joining the military.

  Bertram : Just think how glad the military was.

  Jessie Prescott : Please! This is my chance to clear the air with him and prove that I made the right decision!

  Bertram : By being a failed actress and a mediocre nanny?

  [Bertram chuckles to himself] 

  Jessie Prescott : OK, I may not have joined the military; but I can still still snap your windpipe with one finger.

  [Jessie holds up her pinky finger at Bertram] 

  Bertram : [referring to the children]  Better that than taking care of *those* monsters!

  Jessie Prescott : Please! They're such good kids! What could possibly go wrong?

  Emma Ross : [cutting to the Ross kids firing a rocket and beginning a countdown in the lounge room]  Three!

  Luke Ross : Two!

  Ravi Ross : One!

  Zuri Ross : BLAST OFF!

  [Ravi launches the rocket, and then it hits the roof; and the water tower; getting Jessie and Bertram all wet] 

  Bertram : [pointing at the roof; and the water tower that got blown up by the rocket]  That.

  Luke Ross : [staring at the roof]  I can't believe we blew up the water tower.

  [pause] 

  Luke Ross : AWESOME!

  [Jessie stares at the kids, shocked] 

  Emma Ross : Ravi, you said it would only go up 15 feet!

  Ravi Ross : Oops! It turns out rocket science is as difficult as... well, rocket science!

  [Jessie looks at Ravi, all wet, thinking "You think?"] 

  Zuri Ross : On the plus side, now we have a skylight!

  Ravi Ross : [to Jessie, thinking she was going to send them to their rooms]  Jessie, please do not send us to our rooms. Especially since the structure of the roof has been compromised.

  Jessie Prescott : [getting every bit of debris and water out of her hair and letting the kids know about their punishment]  Oh, you're not going to your rooms! You're going to spend the weekend on a military base. In Texas!

  Emma Ross : [in horror at the thought of going to Texas and yelling at the roof and echoing]  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  [it echoes through the penthouse and throughout New York City] 

• Darla Shannon : [Darla stands up to the podium; delivering her speech]  OK. Um, I am so glad that my mum is marrying J.W.

  [looks at Jessie] 

  Darla Shannon : I have always admired his daughter, Jessie.

  Jessie Prescott : [to the soldier next to her at the table, under her breath]  Wait for it...

  Darla Shannon : [continues her speech]  Not everyone could fail so miserably at acting, and still has the courage to keep trying; even though she keeps getting rejected over, and over and *over*!

  Jessie Prescott : [under her breath]  And there it is!

  Darla Shannon : Kind of like the way she was rejected by all the boys in high school! She was so unpopular, that even the vending machines rejected her quarters!

  Jessie Prescott : [shoving Darla out of the way, delivering her speech]  OK! Alright, thank you, Darla!

  [sarcastically] 

  Jessie Prescott : That was fascinating! Just like your stories about collecting barf bags at 30,000 feet! And your "how to put on a seatbelt" speech is always a big hit at parties!

  Darla Shannon : [shoving Jessie out of the way, continues her speech]  OK, and I know whenever I need advice, Jessie will always be there, because Lord knows, she's never out on a *date*!

  Jessie Prescott : [shoves Darla out of the way, continues her speech] 

  [clapping sarcastically] 

  Jessie Prescott : Let's hear it for Darla Shannon! If her name sounds familiar, it's probably because you wrote a complaint letter to an airline about her!

  [Jessie and Darla mock laugh, and then scowl at each other] 

  Luke Ross : [while Darla and Jessie are trading insults at the rehearsal brunch, Luke, Zuri and Ravi are doing wheelies in the B.A.T]  THIS IS AWESOME!

  Zuri Ross : [Zuri whoops and shouts]  THIS IS FUN!

  Ravi Ross : [Ravi hands on for dear life in fear]  THIS IS GOING TO BE THE DAY I DIE! AND I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO PUBERTY!

  [the kids hit the brakes and they stop near the mess hall, where the rehearsal brunch is taking place] 

  Jessie Prescott : [10 minutes later, the insults between Jessie and Darla continue]  You should've seen Darla's face in high school! The moon had less craters! Then again, the moon didn't eat four personal pan pizzas for lunch every day!

  Darla Shannon : [shoving Jessie out of the way]  OK, at least I didn't have to eat with the cafeteria lady!

  Jessie Prescott : [shoving Darla out of the way]  Olga was a sparkling conversationalist! At least, I assume so. I don't speak Russian.