- Dean Winchester: Wait a minute. Can I hear all animals?
- Colonel the Dog: Yep. Animals have a universal language - like Esperanto. But this one actually caught on.
- Pigeon: And I'm just getting started, too. Brewing a real big one. Ha. Bet your ride's gonna look sweet in white.
- Sam Winchester: What's he saying?
- Dean Winchester: You - He's being a douchebag!
- Pigeon: Who are you calling "douchebag", douchebag?
- Dean Winchester: Oh, shut it, you winged rat!
- Sam Winchester: [Notices people staring] Dude...
- Dean Winchester: What?
- Sam Winchester: Hey. Just calm down. Just get in the car.
- Pigeon: Ha ha. That's right, Sally. Go cry to Mama.
- Dean Winchester: [pulls out his gun] Oh, that's it, you son of a bitch!
- Colonel the Dog: By the way, as an honorary dog, there's something you should know. Dogs aren't really man's best friend.
- Dean Winchester: What are you talkin' about?
- Colonel the Dog: I know it sounds like a conspiracy theory... but the real reason we were put here was to-
- [Colonel's voice suddenly changes as he starts barking]
- Dean Winchester: Put here to do what?
- [Colonel barks again]
- Dean Winchester: Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me. *Now* the spell wears off?
- Dean Winchester: You really think the power you hold over other people's lives can make up for what you lack in your own?
- Dean Winchester: Always knew I'd find the source of all evil at a vegan bakery.
- Sam Winchester: What's that smell?
- Dean Winchester: Patchouli. Yeah, mixed with depression from meat deprivation.
- Dean Winchester: [At Taxidermist shop] All right, well, let's keep digging.
- [Spies wide-eyed owl]
- Dean Winchester: But, uh, not here. I don't like the way that one's looking at me.
- Dean Winchester: Kevin. Just poured some buffalo milk down his gob twice.
- Sam Winchester: Buffalo milk?
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, the hangover cure-all. It's got everything in it. Except buffalo milk.
- Olivia Camrose: His business is funded by hunters, and you know how hunters are. They're selfish dicks who define themselves by what they kill.
- [Sam and Dean exchange looks]
- Sam Winchester: Now the question is, are those bleeding hearts actually witches or just hippies?
- Dean Winchester: What's the difference?
- Dylan Camrose: Someone attacked us.
- Olivia Camrose: Sprayed us in the eyes with mace.
- Dylan Camrose: And it's not like we could go to the cops.
- Olivia Camrose: So, now we look like total douchebags because we have to wear our sunglasses inside.
- Yorkie: Sure you don't want to adopt me?
- Dean Winchester: No, thanks. Uh, we'll pass.
- [Starts to walk away]
- Yorkie: No, I'm not above licking feet. Hey, big'un! Come back here!
- Sam Winchester: I think it's probably best to just leave The Colonel in the car.
- Dean Winchester: Excuse me?
- Sam Winchester: Well, all the windows are open.
- Dean Winchester: You think we like that?
- Sam Winchester: "We"?
- Dean Winchester: You think because the windows are open that that's some sort of a treat, huh? No, the dog's coming in.
- Colonel the Dog: Respect.
- Sam Winchester: Okay, eat a cheetah liver for speed, bear heart for strength.
- Dean Winchester: Okay, so if he's chowing down on this stuff-...
- Sam Winchester: ...Then it would make sense why he constricted the taxidermist and clawed the guy at the shelter.
- Dean Winchester: [to the mice] Well, no offense, but why would he want to eat you guys?
- Mouse 1: Uh, we have collapsible spines.
- Mouse 2: We do. Promise.
- Dean Winchester: You're sick.
- Chef Leo: Been told that once or twice.
- Dean Winchester: No, no. Not in the head. Well, you are that, too, but I mean sick like cancer.
- Chef Leo: Well, I guess dogs really can sniff it out
- Colonel the Dog: You call this classic rock?
- [scoffs]
- Colonel the Dog: Next thing you know, they'll be playing Styx. And Dennis DeYoung? A punk.
- Dean Winchester: Dennis DeYoung's not a punk. He's Mr. Roboto, bitch.
- Sam Winchester: Why are you arguing with the dog about Styx?
- Sam Winchester: I think the spell worked. Fact, I think it worked a little too well.
- Dean Winchester: What?
- Sam Winchester: I think... you might be a dog.
- Dean Winchester: [Scratching behind his ear] What?
- Sam Winchester: You're scratching your head. You're... barking at the mailman. You're playing fetch.
- Dean Winchester: I ---
- [Realizes Sam is right]
- Dean Winchester: Ruh-roh.
- Dean Winchester: How long am I gonna have the urge to...
- Colonel the Dog: Sniff butts?
- Dean Winchester: Oh, whoa. Hey. I don't have the urge to sniff butts.
- Colonel the Dog: Yet.
- Sam Winchester: I read this book once about this guy who tried to teach his dog to speak after it witnessed a murder.
- Dean Winchester: It worked?
- Sam Winchester: No.
- Dean Winchester: But he still wrote a book about it?
- Sam Winchester: It makes sense that an animal rights group would have an ax to grind with a taxidermist.
- Dean Winchester: Why? The animal's already dead.
- Dean Winchester: What are we talking here, some sort of a freaky-ass snake monster?
- Sam Winchester: Maybe. The weird thing is snakes either envenomate or constrict. No snake does both.
- Dean Winchester: Correction - freaky-ass MEGA snake monster.
- Chef Leo: I didn't mean to kill anyone - at first. But if people got in my way, they became collateral damage. Guess you eat enough predators, you start to become one.
- Dean Winchester: What did you do to my brother?
- Chef Leo: Your brother? What was your mom smoking when she had you two?
- Yorkie: I saw everything! And I'll tell you, but it'll cost you.
- Dean Winchester: What? Are you kidding me?
- [to Sam]
- Dean Winchester: I'm being extorted by a dog.
- [to the Yorkie]
- Dean Winchester: Well, what do you want, huh? What? Beggin' strips? Snausages?
- Yorkie: If I'm gonna rat someone out, it's got to be worth my while. I want... a belly rub.
- Chef Leo: Sorry. Wolf trumps dog.
- Dean Winchester: Maybe. But not a whole pack.
- [the dogs from the shelter come to the rescue]
- Sam Winchester: Do we even know how to kill this guy?
- Dean Winchester: [Looking at his gun] Well, empty one of these in his head. See what that does.
- Dean Winchester: All right, I'll do it. You got enough on your plate.
- Sam Winchester: Like what?
- Dean Winchester: [Covering] Uh, like... you're tired. You're on the mend. Okay? Plus, you - you've got a sensitive stomach. Last thing we need is you chucking this stuff up.
- [He takes the glass]
- Dean Winchester: Doesn't look so bad.
- [He drinks the liquid in one gulp]
- Dean Winchester: I was wrong.
- Sam Winchester: For the last three nights straight, I had eight hours of shut-eye. For a hunter, that's like 20.
- Collie: Damn cataracts. And you know no one's going to pay for my surgery. Just another casualty of the system, I guess. I don't belong here, you know. I'm pedigreed.
- Mouse 1: Shoo! Quiet!
- Mouse 3: Don't shush me!
- Mouse 2: You be quiet!
- Mouse 3: I'm as quiet as a mouse.
- [laughs]