- Marge Simpson: [thinking] Don't mention her eye, don't mention her eye.
- Turanga Leela: [thinking] Don't mention her hair, don't mention her hair.
- Marge Simpson: Eye... am so pleased to meet you.
- Turanga Leela: Nice to be hair!
- Homer Simpson: Don't drink my loved ones!
- Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
- Homer Simpson: A robot with a catchphrase!
- Bart Simpson: Hey, Homer, you gonna kiss him or kill him?
- Bender: Zzzzz... Kill all humans... Zzzz... Kill all humans...
- Homer Simpson: Zzzzz... Start with Flanders... Zzzzz... Start with Flanders...
- Bender: My ass is about to project something.
- Homer Simpson: [whispering loudly] You don't have to announce it! Just do it quietly and blame the dog!
- Dr. Zoidberg: Hello, robit. Looks like everyone gets a turn to say something. This concludes my turn.
- Professor Frink: Professor, y-you're a fellow man of science. Maybe if we teamed up, we could, uh, figure something out.
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Okay. Ih, but remember, to me, you're incredibly stupid.
- Bender: Aw, I can't do it.
- Lisa Simpson: What stopped you, Bender? Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
- Bender: You think robots care what some hack science-fiction writer thinks? I killed Isaac Asimov on the way over here. Well, Isaac *some*body.
- Lisa Simpson: All we have to do is dig up the time capsule!
- Turanga Leela: And bury Bart in the hole!
- Marge Simpson: I thought people in the future would be more full of peace and love. Like in Epcot Center.
- Turanga Leela: In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak.
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Oh, but it's not as crowded as the slave-labor camps at Universal Studios.
- Marge Simpson: Hmmm...
- Lisa Simpson: I can't believe you're all giving up without a fight.
- Turanga Leela: Lisa, we're just a package-delivery service.
- Philip J. Fry: And not a very good one!
- Marge Simpson: What was that?
- Lisa Simpson: Probably another piece of America's space junk falling out of orbit.
- Bart Simpson: Anyone remember when this country didn't suck? Cause I don't.
- Bender: Well, little meatbag, looks like it's just you and me, stuck in a horrible past... where I know the result of every horse race ever! To the track!
- Lisa Simpson: Professor Farnsworth, I'd like to know how you got here. Was it a time machine?
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Little girl, time machines are physical impossibilities. We teleported through a singularity that I quantum entangled to Bender under the guise of fixing his collar.
- Professor Frink: Yes, but how did Bender get here?
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: With a time machine.
- Lisa Simpson: But you just said that...
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Sample's ready!
- Bender: I remember why I'm here: to kill Homer Simpson!
- Homer Simpson: [Peeking through doorway] My ears are burning.
- Bender: Not yet, but they will be.
- [Produces various weapons from his chest cavity, including flame throwers, guns, buzz saws and a boxing glove]
- Homer Simpson: Aah! A boxing glove!
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
- Philip J. Fry: [Whispers to Marge] That means it's bad.