American Horror Story (TV Series)

Boy Parts (2013)

Jessica Lange: Fiona Goode

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marie Laveau : And what is your wish, Witch?

  Fiona Goode : I want what you have. Whatever it is that has kept you young all these years.

  Marie Laveau : [laughs]  The Hammer wants the Nail's Magic. Oh, that is rich!

  Fiona Goode : Yeah, and you're gonna give it to me. Because, I have something you want.

  Marie Laveau : You could offer me a unicorn that shit hundred dollar bills and I'd still never give you nothing more than a headache.

• Fiona Goode : You're missing the point.

  Madison Montgomery : What's the point?

  Fiona Goode : The point is in this whole wide wicked world the only thing you have to be afraid of is me.

• Fiona Goode : Idiots. Have you any idea what's going on out there? Now I forgave your ham-handed mass-murder business with the bus - over-exuberance of youth and all that. But if you haven't got the goddamn brains to know that when strangers come asking questions, we close ranks, then I fear our line is truly at an end.

  Zoe Benson : But they knew so much already.

  Fiona Goode : I couldn't toast a piece of bread with the heat they were putting on you!

• Fiona Goode : In about ten seconds, I'm gonna turn the heat up in that chubby melon of yours, and I'm gonna turn your brains to scrambled eggs.

• Marie Laveau : Well maybe you haven't heard the news about civilization started in Africa. We're more then just pins and dolls and seeing the future in chicken parts. You've been reading too many tourist guides.

  Fiona Goode : Speaking of tourist guides... No More Spray. I have been to St. Louis No. 1 and I have seen the tomb of Laveau. Seen the fat tourists from Little Rock to Hackensack drawing crosses on the bricks, making wishes to the bones of Marie Laveau. Little do they know, all they have to do to get their wishes granted was come down here to the Ninth Ward and get their hair braided.

• Fiona Goode : Now, listen up, Miss Pittypat. If you scream, I'm gonna put you right back in the ground where I found you. You understand? Hmm?

  Madame Delphine LaLaurie : Help!

  Fiona Goode : [Slaps]  Shut up! Shut up! I want you to tell me right now, how it is you're still alive after all these years and not some moldering corpse.

• Madame Delphine LaLaurie : Are you a witch or something?

  Fiona Goode : Why?

  Madame Delphine LaLaurie : Well, I was hoping you were. Then maybe you'd know how to kill me.

  Fiona Goode : [laughs]  Oh, I may kill you yet, but not today. But you run away again, and it's back in the box for you, understand?

  Madame Delphine LaLaurie : Yes, ma'am.

• Madame Delphine LaLaurie : They defaced my home with a plaque. "The House of Madame LaLaurie. A Historical site." My home- a museum of horrors.

  Fiona Goode : People have always celebrated the macabre. You're not remembered fondly, but I guess that beats not being remembered at all.

  Madame Delphine LaLaurie : I was a woman of my time.

  Fiona Goode : Hmm. That is a crock of shit. You've got a mean streak wider than your backside, or a sickness of the mind. Either way, if ten of the hundreds of things I have read about you are true, then you deserved every minute down there under all that dirt.

• Fiona Goode : I'm kind of busy right now.

  Cordelia Foxx : My god, what's that smell?

  Fiona Goode : I, um... I went to a Chinese doctor, he gave me some herbs to boil. I know it's kind of pungent.

  Cordelia Foxx : We're about to have our morning gathering. I'm going to be going over the house rules with the girls, and I would like you to hear them.

  Fiona Goode : Hmm. Sounds riveting.

  [laughs] 

  Fiona Goode : I'll be down in a minute.