Adult Beginners (2014)

Nick Kroll: Jake

Photos 

Quotes 

• Blanca : Do you always bring your pregnant sister on dates?

  Jake : Just when I want to guarantee I won't get laid.

• Jake : You can't get mad at people for napping.

  Danny : Dude, we get mad at anybody who gets any sleep.

• Jake : I'm Jake.

  Blanca : Blanca.

  Jake : Blanca? But you're not white.

• Jake : My sister's pregnant so I'm like staying at her place, kinda helping her out a little bit. Getting my ducks in a row.

  Paul : She came in here a couple weeks ago to buy a bra. It was the best.

  Jake : Alright cool, man. This is weird.

• Justine : I'm such an asshole.

  Jake : You're not an asshole. I mean you're an asshole, but not because of that.

• Jake : Is it possible that the girl could have a penis?

  Doctor : It's happened before.

• Blanca : You know what, I love your eye shadow.

  Justine : Thanks!

  Blanca : It's gorgeous.

  Justine : Oh, thank you. I love your hair. It's incredible.

  Blanca : Oh my god, thank you! I love your highlights.

  Justine : I did these myself!

  Blanca : Really?

  Justine : Yeah, L'Oréal.

  Jake : This coat's from Old Navy.

• Danny : [Jake's ringtone goes off]  What is that? Is that that song from The Shining?

  Jake : Yeah, this guy wants to kill me.

  Danny : I love that song.

• Jake : You can basically take the last three years of my life and light them on fire.

• Justine : [talking about their childhood]  Why were we always trying to sell things that people didn't wanna buy?

  Jake : Fuck! I'm still doing that.

• [first lines] 

  Jake : Hi, I'm Jake Winton. If you're receiving this video, it means that you have invested in "MINDS i". It also means that we have raised $2.5 million to start production on the sickest piece of wearable technology on the market today.