- Rick: Cute. Your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.
- Morty: Ooo, oh boy Rick, I-I don't think you're allowed to say that word. Ya know?
- Rick: Uh Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact that if I had used this microscope it would have made me mentally retarded.
- Morty: Ok but yeah, I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I-I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing.
- Rick: Well that's retarded.
- Mr. Goldenfold: This aftershave made women want me but it also made me impotent!
- Mr. Needful: A price for everything, Mr. Goldenfold. A price for everything. HAHAHA!
- Mr. Goldenfold: Oh my god! How could I not see this coming? MY LUST! MY GREED! I DESERVE THIS!
- Rick: This serum should
- [burp]
- Rick: counteract the negative effects.
- Mr. Goldenfold: Holy cats! Ladies, let's get outta here.
- [Off into the distance]
- Mr. Goldenfold: I haven't learned a thing!
- Summer: [being carried away by security after Mr. Needful stole her share of their company] You're Zuckerberging me?
- Mr. Needful: I was Zuckerberging people before Zuckerberg's balls dropped.
- Mr. Needful: This aftershave makes a man quite irresistible to women. Free of charge. One never pays here. Not with money.
- Mr. Goldenfold: Nothing to read into there. Thanks!
- Morty: Hey Rick, I have to make a project for the science fair this weekend. You think you could help me out?
- Rick: Whatever.
- Jerry Smith: Well, um, traditionally science fairs are a father-son thing.
- Rick: Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing.
- King Flippy Nips: Plutonians, Jerry Smith is a scientist from Earth, where he's creating a model of our solar system. Jerry, tell Pluto about your decision.
- Jerry Smith: Um, Pluto's a planet.
- King Flippy Nips: Pluto's a fucking planet, bitch!
- Mr. Needful: Do I need to call the police?
- Rick: Here, you can use my phone. Don't worry, it won't make you deaf... because I'm not a hack!
- Morty: And also, knock next time, you know? I mean, I'm sitting in here, I'm 14 -- I got a computer in here, you know?
- Jerry Smith: Oh, I -- I think I understand.
- Morty: You're really playing with fire when you burst in here like that, man.
- Jerry Smith: I get it. Say no more.
- Morty: I mean, one of these days, you know, you're gonna end up seeing something.
- Jerry Smith: I got it! Noted. Good night.
- [Summer is breaking up a fight between her grandfather, Rick, and her boss, Mr. Needful]
- Summer: Stop it right now! Grandpa Rick, I like working here.
- Rick: You work for the Devil!
- Summer: So what?
- Rick, Mr. Needful: "So what"?