- Ronnie Barker: [as Chinese mobster, on phone to his hired killers] Take them to Safari Park, kill them, and feed them to the lions.
- Henchman: Vely diabolical.
- Ronnie Barker: And one hundred percent final. The proverb say, When the lion sit down to dinner with the lamb, only one enjoy the taste of mint sauce.
- Ronnie Corbett: [after Barker advises him on a medical matter] Well, that's exactly what I did do, didn't I. I consulted an expert about my feet.
- Ronnie Barker: What, a chiropodist?
- Ronnie Corbett: No, fella who runs the shoe repair shop on the corner.
- Ronnie Barker: What ya wanna go and see him, he's only gonna mess you about, innee. He was the bloke made you get a dog license for your Hush Puppies, weren't it.
- Ronnie Corbett: Be fair. He knows what he's on about, all right, 'course he does. He gave me a whats-a-name, he, uh, whats-a-name, examination, and prescribed a packet of OdorEaters.
- Ronnie Barker: Oh, yeah? I've heard about them. They any good?
- Ronnie Corbett: Marvelous, marvelous. Ain't half hard to swallow, though.
- Ronnie Barker: Everyone's pill mad, ain't they, eh? I mean, take last year when I was in hospital having that British Rail doughnut removed. They stuffed me full of antibionics then, didn't they. I had so many pills, I sneezed one morning, the bloke in the next bed got better.