Last Man Standing (TV Series)

All About Eve (2014)

Nancy Travis: Vanessa Baxter

Quotes 

• Vanessa Baxter : You know what, honey, Hillary Clinton was a Goldwater girl in 1964.

  Mike Baxter : So. Satan used to work for God. What's your point?

• Mike Baxter : Of all the ways the government dips into our pocket and steals our money, my least favorite is when the police gives us bogus tickets just to fill up their quotas.

  Kristin Baxter : Oh, oh, but I thought you were Mr. Law and Order.

  Mike Baxter : Look, I love the police, but they go to the academy to catch criminals, not to collect taxes. These guys have turned the Denver PD into the freakin' IRS.

  Kristin Baxter : Hey. Low speed limits and stop signs make streets safer.

  Mike Baxter : I know. If we all went zero miles per hour, there'd be zero accidents. GDP would be zero, but we'd have zero accidents.

  Vanessa Baxter : So the DPD is hurting the GDP? Try saying *that* ten times fast.

• Vanessa Baxter : Uh, Eve, what happened to your lip?

  Eve Baxter : Oh, uh, I got into a little scrap with Richie Hayden.

  Vanessa Baxter : What?

  Eve Baxter : Yeah, um, I know as a joke people like to say how you should see the other guy, but seriously, you should see the other guy.

• [first lines] 

  Eve Baxter : Morning, Baxters.

  Mike Baxter : Morning.

  Vanessa Baxter : Hey, honey, how'd you sleep?

  Eve Baxter : Sleep? Who could sleep with this crushing national debt hanging over our heads?

  Vanessa Baxter : Wow! It's so you're just becoming the same person.

  Mike Baxter : Great, isn't it?

• Vanessa Baxter : That cop pulled me over today and gave me a ticket.

  Mike Baxter : I told ya to stay off Cedar, babe.

  Vanessa Baxter : No, he's movin' around. He was on Hudson, today.

  Mike Baxter : Hudson? That's under construction. Double the fine. Smart cop.

  Vanessa Baxter : Oh, I don't care about the fine...

  Mike Baxter : *I* care about the fine.

  Vanessa Baxter : It's just... I've always been able to... you know...

  [tosses her hair] 

  Mike Baxter : Come on, honey, with your knockers, you go with the *hair*?

• Mike Baxter : [noticing Mandy coming down the stairs in a bright red clingy dress and high-heels]  Wow! Whoa!

  Vanessa Baxter : Hey, hey. Where are you goin' dressed like that?

  Mandy Baxter : Oh, I have a paper due and I didn't quite write it.

  Mike Baxter : So why... why are you dressed like *that*?

  Mandy Baxter : I need the professor to give me an extension or, if he *really* likes the dress, an A.

• [last lines] 

  Mike Baxter : [Vanessa walks in the front door]  Hey babe. How was *your* day?

  Vanessa Baxter : A-mazing.

  Mike Baxter : Well, tell me, what's an amazing day in the world of a geologist? Did you find the rock that killed Goliath?

  Vanessa Baxter : No, no, work was actually pretty dull, but something exciting did happen on the way home. I got pulled over again.

  Mike Baxter : I'm sorry about that.

  Vanessa Baxter : No, no, it's okay. Jay just gave me a warning. I'm just sayin', "Still got it."

  Mike Baxter : Yeah, you still got it.

  Vanessa Baxter : Yes, I do.