How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Daisy (2014)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : When Lily and Marshall are apart for an extended period of time, what is the one thing Lily always does?

  Marshall Eriksen : Cry?

  Barney Stinson : Masturbate?

  William Zabka : Karate?

  The Captain : Go sailing?

• Ted Mosby : You need a cigarette, the closest store is an Easy-Pick five miles down the road, you have no car, what do you do? Go.

  William Zabka : Dirt bike.

  Marshall Eriksen : I can walk that far.

  Barney Stinson : Masturbate.

  The Captain : Take a boat.

  Ted Mosby : A boat? Dude, she got in your car remember?

• Marshall Eriksen : [Regarding Lily]  Why did she get into the captain's car and why didn't she tell me about it?

  Ted Mosby : Well, maybe it was a work thing.

  Marshall Eriksen : What? No! She has a big fight with me, she goes down to an Easy Pick, she gets into the Captain's Mercedes, and then three hours later she doesn't wanna go to Italy anymore? Wait does this means...?

  Barney Stinson : That the Captain moored his dinghy into Lily's lagoon? Most definitely.

  Ted Mosby : That's crazy. You never moor a dinghy into a lagoon.

  William Zabka : I don't know Ted. In certain tidal conditions if you were in a protected inlet...

  Marshall Eriksen : [Interrupting]  Ok, you know what? It doesn't matter. Today's Barney's wedding, let's just forget it.

  Barney Stinson : Marshall, do you want to go to the Captain's house right now, punch him in the face really fast and then come back and do this wedding?

  Marshall Eriksen : ...Will that be okay?

  Barney Stinson : Ranjit, get the car.

  Ranjit : Getting the car.

• Ted Mosby : You're Lily, you just had a cigarette in your bosses powder room, where do you put it? Flush it? Throw it out the window?

  Marshall Eriksen : No, she wouldn't do any of those things, she's an environmentalist.

  Ted Mosby : Put it in your purse?

  William Zabka : Marshall would find it there.

  Ranjit : Throw it in the trash can.

  Becky : The Captain would find it there.

  The Captain : Hide it in a boat.

  Ted Mosby : A boat? Why would...?

  The Captain : I don't know, I just like boats.

  Ted Mosby : No, there's only one place she'd put it, where it would eventually decompose and serve as a natural mulch. It's in the daisy!

  Ted Mosby : And sure enough, if I dig through I am all but guaranteed to...

  [reaches into the pot and pulls out...] 

  Ted Mosby : Pregnancy test?

  William Zabka : You can smoke those?