Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Jeff Goldblum: Grandmaster

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grandmaster : I just, I gotta say. I'm proud of you all. This revolution has been a huge success. Yay us! Pat, pat on the back. Pat on the back. Come on. No? Me, too. 'Cause I've been a big part of it. Can't have a revolution without somebody to overthrow! So, ah, you're welcome. And, uh, it's a tie.

• Grandmaster : [from trailer]  It's main event time. And now, I give you your Incredible, Astonishingly Savage...

  [the Hulk bursts through the stadium door] 

  Thor : YES!

  [everyone in the stadium looks confused] 

  Thor : Hey, hey! We know each other! He's a friend from work! Where have you been? Everybody thought you were dead! So much has happened since I last saw you. I lost my hammer like, yesterday so that's still pretty fresh. Loki, he's alive! Can you believe it? He's up there. Hey Loki! Look who it is!

• Grandmaster : Hey Sparkles, here's the deal: you want to get back to ass-place, ass-berg...

  Thor : ASGARD!

  Grandmaster : Any contender who defeats my champion, their freedom they shall win.

  Thor : Fine. Then point me in the direction of whoever's ass I have to kick!

• [Grandmaster is announcing the Hulk into the Sakaaran Arena] 

  Grandmaster : ...The champion! The Defending! I give you, your Incredible...

  [Hulk enters the arena, roars] 

  Loki : [to himself]  I have to get off this planet.

  Grandmaster : [Runs into Loki as he is trying to run away]  Whoa, whoa, where are you going? Sit down.

  Hulk : HULK! HULK! HULK!

  Thor : [to the Grandmaster]  Hey! Hey! We know each other, he's a friend from work!

  Thor : [to Hulk]  Where have you been? Everyone thought you were dead! There's so much that's happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer, like yesterday so that's still pretty fresh. Loki, Lok - Loki's alive, can you believe it? He's up there!

  [Hulk glances at Loki] 

  Thor : Hey, Loki! Look who it is!

  [Loki is horrorstruck] 

• Grandmaster : I love when you come to visit, 142. You keep bringing me just the best stuff. Whenever we get to talk to Topaz about Scrapper-142, what do I always say? She is, and it starts with a B.

  Topaz : Trash.

  Grandmaster : No. Not trash. Were you waiting to just call her that? It doesn't start with a B!

• Grandmaster : Revolution? How did this happen?

  Topaz : Don't know. But the Arena's mainframe for the Obedience Disks have been deactivated and the slaves have armed themselves.

  Grandmaster : Ohhh! I don't like that word!

  Topaz : Mainframe?

  Grandmaster : No. Why would I not like "mainframe?" No, the "S" word!

  Topaz : Sorry, the "prisoners with jobs" have armed themselves.

  Grandmaster : Okay, that's better.

• Grandmaster : Time works real different around these parts. On any other world I would be millions of years old but here on Sakaar...

  [leers at Loki, unnerving him] 

• Grandmaster : [broadcast]  It's bad news, bad news today. Sakaar, hear ye. Attention, please. I have some bad news. My beloved, exalted Champion has turned up missing. Take to the streets. Celebrate my champion. It seems that that criminally seductive Lord of Thunder has stolen him away.

  Thor : Seductive GOD of Thunder!

• Grandmaster : I'm upset! I'm very upset. You know what I like about being upset? Blame. Right now, that's the mindset that I'm in. And you know who I'm blaming?

  Loki : Grandmaster, I...

  Grandmaster : Hey! Don't interrupt me!

  Topaz : [holds up a Melting Stick]  Here you go!

  Grandmaster : Why are you handing me the Melt Stick? He was interrupting. That's not a capital violation. My precious champion has come up missing and its all because of that Lord of Thunder. It's all because of him, YOUR brother - whatever the story is, adopted, or complicated, I'm sure there's a big history - and YOUR contender!

  Loki : My dear friend, if you were to give me twelve hours I could bring them both back to you.

  Valkyrie : I can do it in two.

  Loki : I could do it in one.

  Grandmaster : You know what? I woke up this morning thinking about a public execution. But for now, I'll settle for this sweet little "who's gonna get him first?" So you're on the clock!

• Grandmaster : What happened to my manners? I haven't properly introduced myself. Come on. Follow me. My name is Grandmaster. I preside over a little harlequinade called the Contest of Champions. People come from far and wide to unwillingly participate in it. And you, my friend, might just be part of the new cast. What do you say to that?

  Thor : We're not friends, and I don't give a shit about your games!

• Topaz : [to Grandmaster]  We've located your cousin.

  Grandmaster : Huh?... Oh good!...

  [to Thor] 

  Grandmaster : You're going to love this!

  [to Carlo] 

  Grandmaster : Hey cuz... We couldn't find you! What, have you been hiding?

  Cousin Carlo : [Begging and whimpering]  No!... I'm sorry!

  Grandmaster : [Nodding sympathetically]  Mmhmm.

  [Makes hand gesture like Nazi from Schindler's List] 

  Grandmaster : Carlo, I pardon you.

  Cousin Carlo : [Nodding with clear relief]  Oh, thank you!

  Grandmaster : You're officially pardoned... from life!

  [Melts Carlo into bubbling blue mess and haze. The Grandmaster looks away in disgust] 

  Cousin Carlo : Aaauugh!

  [to Thor] 

  Cousin Carlo : Help me!

  Thor : [Watching this in wide-eyed horror]  Oh... my... GOD!

  Grandmaster : [Scrambling backwards]  I'm stepping it. I'm stepping in it! Look! Wow!

  Thor : Oh, the-the smell!

  Grandmaster : What does it smell like?

  Topaz : Burnt toast.

• Grandmaster : What have you brought today? Tell me.

  Valkyrie : A contender.

• Grandmaster : Here's what I wanna know. Who are you?

  Thor : I - am - the God of Thunder!

  [raises his arms as energy flows over his hands] 

  Grandmaster : [amused]  I didn't hear any thunder, but out of your fingers - was that sparkles?

• Grandmaster : Welcome everybody! Hey, let's have a big round of applause for all of today's contenders who have died so gruesomely! Good sports!