Moana (I) (2016)

Jemaine Clement: Tamatoa

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tamatoa : [Last lines, post-credits scene]  Shiny I'm so shiny. Didn't help me though did it? Still upside down here. Just need a little push. Ugh. Can we be real? If my name was Sebastian and I had a cool Jamaican accent, you'd totally help me. You would. You know you would.

• [Moana, who is covered in sparkling seashells, is snatched up by Tamatoa] 

  Tamatoa : [laughing]  What have we here? It's a sparkly, shiny... Wait a minute.

  [Tosses Moana into the air, making her lose the seashells covering her] 

  Tamatoa : Ugh! It's a human! What are you doing down here, in the Realm of the Mons-?

  [Tamatoa's eyes are twitching differently causing Moana to constantly look back and forth between them] 

  Tamatoa : Just pick an eye, babe. I can't... I can't concentrate on what I'm saying if you keep... Yeah, pick one. Pick one!

• Tamatoa : Are you just trying to get me to talk about myself? Because if you are... I will gladly do so.

  Moana : Huh?

  Tamatoa : In *song* form!

• Tamatoa : [after being flipped by an escaping Moana and Maui]  Hey! Hey!... Did you like the song?

• Tamatoa : You're a funny looking little thing aren't you.

  [Tries to take Moana's necklace] 

  Moana : [snatches it back]  Don't! That's my gramma's!

  Tamatoa : [mockingly repeats]  "That's my gramma's!" I ate my Gramma! And it took a week, 'cause she was absolutely humongous.

• Moana : [Tamatoa is about to eat Maui]  Hey!

  Tamatoa : Huh?

  Moana : [holding up what appears to be the Heart of Te Fiti]  I've got something shiny for ya!

  Tamatoa : [Tamatoa spits Maui out; awestrucked]  The Heart of Te Fiti!

  [Threatening] 

  Tamatoa : You cannot run from me!

  [Moana takes off running] 

  Tamatoa : [Following after her; mock surprise]  Oh, you *can* run from me! You keep surprising me!

• Tamatoa : Well, Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam. I was a drab little crab once. Now I know I can be happy as a clam, because I'm beautiful, baby!

• Tamatoa : I'd rather be shiny! Like the treasure from a sunken pirate wreck. Scrub the deck and make it look shiny! I will sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck. Chh! Just a sec. Don't ya know? Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb, they chase anything that glitters. Beginners, oh. And here they come, come, come to the brightest thing that glitters.

  [catches fish in his mouth] 

  Tamatoa : Mmm, fish dinners! I just love free food, and you look like seafood.

• Tamatoa : Far from the ones who abandoned you chasing the love of these humans who made you feel wanted. You tried to be tough, but your armor's just not hard enough!

• Tamatoa : Well, well, well. Little Maui's having trouble with his look. You little semi-demi-mini god. Ouch! What a terrible performance, get the hook! Get it? You don't swing it like you used to, man! Yet I have to give you credit for my start, and your tattoos on the outside. For just like you, I made myself a work of art. I'll never hide. I can't!I'm too shiny!

• Moana : Don't, it's my grandma's.

  Tamatoa : "That's my grandma." I ate my grandma! And it took a week cause she was absolutely humongous.

• Tamatoa : Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough. Strut my stuff, my stuff is so shiny! Send your armies, but they'll never be enough! My shell's too tough. Maui, man! You can try, try, try, but you can't expect a demigod to beat a decapod. Look it up! You will die, die, die! Now it's time for me to take apart your aching heart.

• Tamatoa : Maui! Now it's time to kick your hiney! Ever seen someone so shiny? Soak it in, cause it's the last you'll ever see. C'est la vie, mon amie. I'm so shiny! Now I'll eat you, so prepare your final plea, just for me. You'll never be quite as shiny. You wish you were nice and shiny!

• Tamatoa : Why are you here ?

  Moana : Cause you're amazing! And we mortals have heard the tale of the crab. Who became a legend! And I got to know how you became so - crabulous!

• Tamatoa : Did your granny say listen to your heart? Be who you are on the inside? I need three words to tear her argument apart. Your granny lied!