- [character Avian Ally is shown in Conan: Hall of Volta]
- JonTron: Oh, look! An avian ally! Now this is my kind of game right here! Very close to home. Jacques, come here! You got to see this!
- JonTron: [looks behind him]
- JonTron: Oh no, I think I left him upstairs. I turned off his alarm, right?
- [cut to upstairs, Medicine Man opens the door with medicine]
- Medicine Man: Hey Jon, it's me! I brought your life-saving medicine!
- Jacques: [alarm blaring] Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
- [shoots Medicine Man in chest with laser]
- Medicine Man: Oh, that's hot lasers! Oh, I'm dying of lasers!
- [falls to ground]
- JonTron: Nah, it's probably nothing.
- JonTron: Conan the Barbarian, originally portrayed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Guy doesn't take shit from no one. You kill his entire family, he comes back twenty years later and beheads you in front of your entire snake cult, and becomes the governor of the state of California. That's fucking metal as fuck, dude!
- JonTron: Oh, good morning, madam. You are looking full and robust today. You are blossoming like the most beautiful flower in all of Simmeria. Oh yeah, one more thing; your tits are fucking fantastic.