Mike Jeavons: Mike J.

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mike J. : Hello, I'm a British person, and I don't know what it is, but I just can't stop gravitating towards films featuring talking dogs. Even if the film it's following has nothing to do with talking dogs, and instead it's shamelessly cashing in on the name. Unless it's me who's the crazy one, and everyone else can understand why Marley & Me needed a prequel. Look at it: we all know you're gonna die later in life! Unlike most living things obviously. Also, it's called The Puppy Years, but it's set over a few weeks. Since when did a few weeks class as a few years? Oh well, let's dive in to Marley & Me: The Puppy Years... Weeks.

• [last lines] 

  Mike J. : So that utter mess was the prequel to the movie that made women around the world cry tears of sadness, whereas this one just makes them cry tears of pain and suffering! It adds nothing to the story of the first; it's inconsistent in so many ways. As a stand-alone, it would have been OK, but as a Marley & Me prequel, it's poor. Eh, at least we don't have to feel bad anymore that he dies at the end of the first one.

• Mike J. : Not only is this a completely unneeded prequel, it's also set in a different genre! If they make a third one, is it gonna be set in Middle Earth?