Quotes
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Ms. Bennett : Do you recall a document shared on the J-drive titled the Jonad Files?
Dan Egan : Uh, no. No, ma'am.
Amy Brookheimer : No. That doesn't ring a bell.
Ms. Bennett : So it's not a word combining Jonah and gonad?
Dan Egan : Not to my knowledge.
Jonah Ryan : I can confirm that that is exactly what it is and Mr. Egan knows that.
Mr. Rakes : In fact, Mr. Egan, I was told that you encouraged staffers to add to this glossary of abuse.
Dan Egan : I do not at this moment in time recall the action nor the document in question.
Mr. Rakes : Okay, maybe this will jog your memory. We have some extracts. J-Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jackoff, Gaylien, Tinkerballs, Wadzilla, One Erection...
Jonah Ryan : Do we have to go through all of these?
Mr. Wallace : I'm not sure that I see the relevance.
Mr. Rakes : The witnesses claim they held their former colleague in high regard and I am attempting to prove otherwise.
Mr. Wallace : Okay, yeah, sure. No, you can proceed.
Mr. Rakes : The Pointless Giant, The 60-Foot Virgin, Gimpanzee, Jonah Ono, Hagrid's Nutsack, Scrotum Pole, Transgenderformers, 12 Years a Slave to Jerking Off, Benedict Come In His Own Hand, Guyscraper, The Cloud Botherer, SupercalifragilisticexpialiDickCheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Asshole, Spewbacca.
Jonah Ryan : My college friends called me Tall McCartney. I preferred that, that's a good nickname.
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Mr. Wallace : Was he responsible?
Ben Cafferty : Washington needed a sacrifice. So, we all ran and took out our pitchforks, and we set fire to the Wicker Dan.