- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say. But before I do, just... I want you to know you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready, and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates...
- Sheldon Cooper: I love you too.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You said it.
- Sheldon Cooper: There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.
- [Amy starts hyperventilating]
- Sheldon Cooper: I know what that is. You're having a panic attack. SoccerMom09 says to lie down on your back.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Thank you.
- [runs over to Sheldon's bed]
- Sheldon Cooper: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just because I love you doesn't mean that girls are allowed in my room.
- Raj Koothrappali: Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I always wanted to go to an American prom. Then I saw Carrie and then, not so much. Then I saw Never Been Kissed and I was into it again. Boy, this prom thing has been a real roller coaster.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Picks up a red dress] And what is this?
- Penny: That, believe it or not, was my prom dress.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You still have it? I thought it would be balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
- Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Slutty.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Easy
- Penny: The word is popular.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Look at me. I'm dancing with the prettiest girl at the prom.
- Penny: Want to send a photo to your chess club friends?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I sent them a bikini shot of you a long time ago.
- Stuart Bloom: So, I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, so I took one look at this punim and almost plotzed on the kugel.
- Howard Wolowitz: There are lots of people who wear matching pajamas who aren't dating.
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, really? Like who?
- Howard Wolowitz: You and your dog.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Don't rule out the dating.
- Stuart Bloom: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
- Debbie Wolowitz: Stewie! Your bath is getting cold!
- Stuart Bloom: Sorry, gotta go.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, are you all right?
- Sheldon Cooper: Not really. I seem to be having a panic attack, according to this chatgroup I found. SoccerMom09 had the same symptoms. Although to be fair, the twins were being terrible that day.
- Howard Wolowitz: He's gonna bring my mom. Why did you even invite him?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Because he's our friend, and you two need to get along. And why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
- Howard Wolowitz: I didn't "take" her; she was a chaperone.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
- Howard Wolowitz: W-What was I gonna do? They were playing our song! I can't take this anymore.
- [makes a phone call]
- Howard Wolowitz: Stuart, we have to talk. This thing with you and my mom, I-I hate it. It's making me crazy. You and I were friends for years, and now you're bringing my mother to a party I'm going to? What the hell?
- Stuart Bloom: I'm not bringing your mother, I have a date.
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother?
- Sheldon Cooper: You think you got it bad, consider the gibbon. The gibbon is the only member of the ape family who isn't classified as a great ape. All the non-human members of the ape family are great apes except him, so taxologists made up the classification of lesser ape just to single him out as the weird kid in the playground.
- Leonard Hofstadter: A gibbon doesn't care how he's classified. He doesn't even know he's called a gibbon.
- Sheldon Cooper: That's true.
- [to Howard]
- Sheldon Cooper: Sorry, kid. You've got it worse than a gibbon.
- Sheldon: There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [noticing Emily's tattoo] That's a neat tattoo.
- Emily Sweeney: Oh, thanks. It's Sally from "Nightmare Before Christmas".
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Aw, that movie's so cute.
- Howard Wolowitz: Do you like her because you both have red hair?
- Emily Sweeney: A little, but more that she's covered with scars and can pull her own limbs off and sew them back on.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [awkward pause] I like "Cinderella".
- Emily Sweeney: Did you know in the original book the sisters cut their toes off with knives in order to fit in the glass slipper?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [looking uneasy] I like "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo".
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Tying Sheldon's bow tie] One of these days you have to learn to do this yourself. There are some clip-ons you could try.
- Sheldon Cooper: Bruce Wayne doesn't use a clip-on.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Bruce Wayne doesn't have his roommate tie his bowties for him.
- Sheldon Cooper: His name is Alfred, and yes he does.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Howard is choking Stuart] Howie, get off of him!
- Howard Wolowitz: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree.
- Sheldon Cooper: Pretending to be an alien is a valuable coping mechanism I've used many times. I did it the first time I went to see you in a play. You had no idea that Commander Umfrumf of Ceti Alpha 3 was in the audience. Oh, don't worry. He gave you seven thumbs up.