Sherlock (TV Series)
The Abominable Bride (2016)
Martin Freeman: Dr. John Watson
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. John Watson : [being furious with Sherlock] I'm an army doctor, which means I could break every bone in your body while naming them.
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Mrs. Hudson : And I noticed you published another of your stories, Dr. Watson.
Dr. John Watson : Yes. Did you enjoy it?
Mrs. Hudson : No.
Dr. John Watson : Oh?
Mrs. Hudson : I never enjoy them.
Dr. John Watson : Why not?
Mrs. Hudson : Well, I never say anything do I? According to you, I just show people up the stairs and serve you breakfast.
Dr. John Watson : Well, within the narrative, that is, broadly speaking, your function.
Mrs. Hudson : My *what*?
Sherlock Holmes : Don't feel singled out, Mrs Hudson. I'm hardly in the dog one.
Dr. John Watson : The dog one?
Mrs. Hudson : I'm your landlady, not a plot device.
Dr. John Watson : D'you mean 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'?
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Dr. John Watson : [to Sherlock] I'm taking Mary home.
Mary Morstan : You're what?
Dr. John Watson : Mary's taking me home.
Mary Morstan : Better.
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Dr. John Watson : Good Lord.
Sherlock Holmes : [shouting to Mrs. Hudson who is downstairs] Mrs Hudson, there is a woman in my sitting room. Is it intentional?
Mrs. Hudson : [replying from downstairs] She's a client, said you were out, insisted on waiting.
Dr. John Watson : Would you, uh... care to sit down?
Sherlock Holmes : Didn't you ask her what she wanted?
Mrs. Hudson : You ask her!
Sherlock Holmes : Why didn't YOU ask her?
Mrs. Hudson : How could I, what with me not talking and everything?
Sherlock Holmes : Oh.
Sherlock Holmes : [to Dr. Watson] For god's sake, give her some lines, she's perfectly capable of starving us.
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Sherlock Holmes : Since when have you had any kind of imagination?
Dr. John Watson : Perhaps since I convinced the reading public that an unprincipled drug addict was some kind of gentleman hero.
Sherlock Holmes : ...Yes, now you come to mention it, that was quite impressive.
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Mary Morstan : I've been making enquiries. Mr. Holmes asked me.
Dr. John Watson : [to Sherlock] Holmes, how could you?
Mary Morstan : No, not him. The clever one.
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Sherlock Holmes : Between you and me, John, I always survive a fall.
Dr. John Watson : But how?
Sherlock Holmes : Elementary, my dear Watson.
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Sherlock Holmes : Thank you, John.
Dr. John Watson : Since when do you call me John?
Sherlock Holmes : You'd be surprised.
Dr. John Watson : No, I wouldn't. Time you woke up, Sherlock. I'm a story-teller; I know when I'm in one.
Sherlock Holmes : Course. Of course you do, John.
Dr. John Watson : So what's he like? The other me, in the other place?
Sherlock Holmes : Smarter than he looks.
Dr. John Watson : Pretty damn smart, then.
Sherlock Holmes : Pretty damn smart.
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Dr. John Watson : Holmes, against absolutely no opposition whatsoever, I am your closest friend.
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Dr. John Watson : [after DI Lestrade's recount of recent events] Extraordinary!
Mary Morstan : Impossible!
Sherlock Holmes : Superb! Suicide as street theatre; murder by corpse. Lestrade, you're spoiling us.
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Dr. John Watson : [being angry with the maid] If it wasn't my wife's business to talk to the staff, I would deal with you myself.
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Dr. John Watson : [to Mycroft, regarding his eating habits] Well, now that you mention it, this level of consumption is incredibly injurious to your health, your heart...
Sherlock Holmes : No need to worry on that score, Watson.
Dr. John Watson : No?
Sherlock Holmes : There's only a large cavity where that organ should reside.
Mycroft Holmes : It's a family trait.
Sherlock Holmes : Oh, I wasn't being critical.
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Sherlock Holmes : May I ask, how is your husband this morning?
Lady Carmichael : He refuses to speak about the matter. Obviously I have urged him to leave the house.
Sherlock Holmes : No, no, he must stay exactly where he is.
Lady Carmichael : Well, you don't think he's in danger?
Sherlock Holmes : Oh, no, someone definitely wants to kill him, but that's good for us. You can't set a trap without bait.
Lady Carmichael : My husband is not bait, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes : No, but he could be if we play our cards right. Now listen: You must go home immediately. Dr Watson and I will follow on the next train. There's not a moment to lose. Sir Eustace is to die tonight.
Dr. John Watson : Holmes...
Sherlock Holmes : And we should... probably avoid that.
Dr. John Watson : Definitely.
Sherlock Holmes : [correcting himself] DEFINITELY avoid that.
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Mrs. Hudson : And you make the rooms so drab and dingy.
Dr. John Watson : Oh, blame it on the illustrator. He's out of control. I've had to grow this moustache just so that people would recognize me.
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DI Lestrade : [after a failed attempt by Sherlock to catch a murderer] You really mustn't blame yourself, you know.
Sherlock Holmes : No, you're quite right.
Dr. John Watson : I'm glad you're seeing sense.
Sherlock Holmes : Watson is equally culpable. Between us, we've managed to botch this whole case.
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Dr. John Watson : [talking about his wife, Mary] Where did she go? She's always out these days.
Jane : Not unlike yourself... sir.
Dr. John Watson : I'm sorry?
Jane : Just observing, sir.
Dr. John Watson : Well, that's quite enough; nobody asked you to be observant.
Jane : Sorry, sir, I just meant you are hardly ever home together anymore, sir.
Dr. John Watson : You are dangerously close to impertinence. I shall have a word with my wife to have a word with you.
Jane : [with a bit irony] Very good, sir. And when will you be seeing her?
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Dr. John Watson : Holmes, could it have been twins?
Sherlock Holmes : No.
Dr. John Watson : Why not?
Sherlock Holmes : Because it's never twins.
DI Lestrade : Emilia was not a twin, nor did she have any sisters. She had one older brother who died four years ago.
Dr. John Watson : Mm-m-m-m. Maybe it was a secret twin.
Sherlock Holmes : A WHAT?
Dr. John Watson : A secret twin? Mm? You know? A twin that nobody knows about? This whole thing could have been planned.
Sherlock Holmes : Since the moment of conception? How breathtakingly prescient of her. It is never twins, Watson!
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Dr. John Watson : [handing Holmes the deerstalker] You're Sherlock Holmes. Wear the damn hat.
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[last lines]
Dr. John Watson : As for your own... tale, are you sure it's still just a seven percent solution that you take? I think you may have increased the dosage.
Sherlock Holmes : Perhaps I was being a little fanciful, but perhaps such things could come to pass. In any case, I know I would be very much at home in such a world.
Dr. John Watson : Huh! Don't think I would be.
Sherlock Holmes : I beg to differ, but then I've always known I was a man out of his time.
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Molly Hooper : Oh, isn't HE observant now that Daddy's gone?
Dr. John Watson : I am observant in some ways, just as Holmes is quite blind in others.
Molly Hooper : Really?
Dr. John Watson : Yes. Really. Amazing what one has to do to get ahead in a man's world.
[tips his hat and exits]
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Dr. John Watson : I... I thought I was losing you. I thought perhaps we were... neglecting each other.
Sherlock Holmes : Well, you're the one who moved out.
Dr. John Watson : [exasperated] I was talking to Mary.
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Dr. John Watson : Where are we going?
Sherlock Holmes : To the morgue. There's not a moment to lose - which one can so rarely say of the morgue.
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Dr. John Watson : You're gambling with your own life?
Mycroft Holmes : Why not? It's so much more exciting than gambling with others.
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Dr. John Watson : Tweeds in a morgue?
Sherlock Holmes : Needs must when the devil drives, Watson.
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Dr. John Watson : But she can't have been in two places at the same time, can she?
Sherlock Holmes : No Watson, one place is strictly the limit for the recently deceased.
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Dr. John Watson : [speaking in bad sign language] I'm glad you liked my potato.
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Mycroft Holmes : These enemies are everywhere, undetected, and unstoppable.
Dr. John Watson : Socialists?
Mycroft Holmes : Not socialists, Doctor, no.
Dr. John Watson : Anarchists?
Mycroft Holmes : No.
Dr. John Watson : The French? The suffragists?
Mycroft Holmes : Is there any large body of people, you're not concerned about?
Sherlock Holmes : Dr. Watson is endlessly vigilant. Elaborate.
Mycroft Holmes : No, investigate. This is a conjecture of mine. I need you to confirm it. I'm sending you a case.
Dr. John Watson : The Scots.
Sherlock Holmes : The Scots?
Mycroft Holmes : Are you aware of recent theories concerning what is known as paranoia?
Dr. John Watson : Ooh, sounds Serbian.
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Dr. John Watson : Sherlock, hang on, explain. Moriarty's alive, then?
Sherlock Holmes : I never said he was alive, I said he was back.
Mary Watson : So he's dead?
Sherlock Holmes : Of course he's dead, he blew his own brains out, no-one survives that. I just went to the trouble of an overdose to prove it. Moriarty is dead, no question. But more importantly, I know exactly what he's going to do next...
[theme tune begins as he jumps into his car]