- Captain Man: [wearing extra gear for protection] Tiger's can be vicious.
- Kid Danger: But... maybe this one's nice. I mean, come on, let's not stereotype all tigers.
- Kid Danger: One sec.
- [picks up the discarded phone, over which Piper has been continuously screaming about what's troubling her]
- Kid Danger: [robotically] She did? No way. Then what happened?
- [discards the phone immediately]
- Ray Manchester: I can't fight bad guys in my condition.
- Charlotte Page: Is he serious?
- Kid Danger: He's afraid now 'cause he CAN be injured.
- Ray Manchester: Well, who wouldn't be afraid?
- Kid Danger: Huh! How 'bout ME? I'm your sidelick and I've been helping you do all kind of dangerous stuff, and I never had any powers. I CAN be hurt.
- Ray Manchester: Which is why I pay you $9 an hour.
- [Henry's phone rings]
- Kid Danger: [answering] What?
- Piper Hart: Where's Mom?
- Kid Danger: I don't know, but I can't talk right...
- Piper Hart: [infuriated] I am NOT okay!
- Kid Danger: You've never EVER "been okay."
- Captain Man: You hear that? There's a boy wandering through Swellview Park trapped in his own pants.
- Jasper Dunlop: I've been wearin' the wrong pants.
- Piper Hart: Uh, your problems are way bigger than your pants.
- Jasper Dunlop: I gotta start somewhere!
- Captain Man: Oh, face it, Kid. I've lost it. I can't protect Swellview. I couldn't protect a duck from a Chinese restaurant.
- Captain Man: Do you know, last night I went across the street, a bee stung me? And now I got a red bump.
- Kid Danger: Did you provoke the bee?
- Captain Man: Yeah, Henry. I was flirtin' with the bee's girlfriend. I was all "zzz zzz" and she was all "zzz zzz."
- Nurse Cohort: Who's that boy?
- Dr. Minyak: Easy, don't get nervous. It's just Kid Dumpster.
- Kid Danger: That's "Danger."
- Dr. Minyak: I know. I was being disrespectful.
- Jasper Dunlop: I didn't know Henry had a goldfish.
- Charlotte Page: Well, he does and she was pregnant.
- Jasper Dunlop: Do we know who the father is?
- [Kid Danger returns to the Man cave]
- Ray Manchester: [sulking oni the sofa] Hey, Kid. Where YOU been?
- Kid Danger: [angrily] I was pulling a big foreign lady out of a swamp - by myself, alone!
- Mr. Gooch: We need more tests
- Captain Man: No, we've checked enough of my body parts.
- Henry Hart: What about his butt. Check his butt.
- Mr. Gooch: We should check your butt.
- Captain Man: Check my butt how?
- Mr. Gooch: [picking up a bow and arrow] Face the other way and touch your toes.