- Bill Maher: Donald Trump thinks we have a "feud" because he won't do my show. As if I could give a fuck if that moron did my show. We have a feud because he became a presidential candidate. Now you're on my turf.
- [applause]
- Bill Maher: And not just a presidential candidate. A one-issue candidate, all about how Obama was illegitimate as a president.
- Bill Maher: I offered Donald Trump - yes, on the air - $5 million if he could prove that he was not the love child of his mother and an orange-haired orangutan.
- [laughter and applause]
- Bill Maher: Wait. Not for no reason, because we showed with pictures that there are only two things in nature that have that exact same color hair: Donald Trump and an orange-haired orangutan.
- [laughter]
- Bill Maher: And this... *dummy* releases his birth certificate and sues me and goes to the press, and turns what was a one-night, one-joke gag into a three month national debate over whether his mother fucked an ape. He is not a bright man.