Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Kisses a Boy! (2015)

Brandon W. Jones: Brandon

Quotes 

• Brandon : I'm Brandon.

  [hugs Kimmy] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Oh!

  Brandon : So good to meet you. And I've got more luggage to get. This one does not pack light.

  Cyndee Pokorny : I don't know why I brought so much pancake mix!

• Brandon : Titus! When are us guys gonna talk about cars?

  Kimmy Schmidt : Huh. Titus. Brandon is into cars.

  Titus Andromedon : Kimberly, a word.

  [Titus takes Kimmy into the next room and closes the door] 

  Titus Andromedon : That was smoke and mirrors, Kimmy, two things gay men love. And I'd call him out on it if I knew anything about cors. Did I say that right? Curs. Coors.

• Kimmy Schmidt : [trying to trick Brandon into revealing his sexual orientation]  I think I'm going to have the chef salad. Who do *you* like to have sex with?

  Brandon : Ah, I like hairless guys with a little bit of...

  Kimmy Schmidt : You *are* an escritoire!

  Brandon : I'm a desk? I - I - I mean, I - I don't know what that means.

• Brandon : Dude, I think it's great the strides you gays have made.

  Titus Andromedon : You cut it out. I know that straight act is just a - what's that Stanley Donen movie with, uh, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn?

  Brandon : Uh, "Charade"?

  Titus Andromedon : Aha!