- Jordi Palacios: [about his mother] Being a mom for her is like going on a camping trip. No, I'm serious. She gets all excited, buys all the equipment and then two days into it, she wishes she were back in the hotel.
- Kara Souders: [to Emma] Just because I let you come with me doesn't mean we've joined the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Panties."
- Dash Hosney: Who gets the rose on the latest episode of "Cancer Bachelor"? Is it Latino heartthrob Jordi or the hometown favorite Leo?
- Leo Roth: [to Nurse Jackson] I seriously want to hug you right now.
- Nurse Jackson: You'll get over it.