Jimmy Fallon: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [Jimmy and Andy are playing the game "5-Second Summaries"] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Okay, here's how the game works. I have a stack of cards right here. Each card has a movie title on it. As soon as you look at the card, you have five seconds to describe the plot of the movie the best you can, and try to make me guess which movie it is.

  Andy Samberg : Okay.

  Jimmy Fallon : Okay - you can't use any words in the title, you can't say any of the actors' names.

  Andy Samberg : No actors' names, no words in the title.

  Jimmy Fallon : Just describing the plot of the movie.

  Andy Samberg : Okay.

  Jimmy Fallon : In five seconds.

  Andy Samberg : And what are we playing for?

  [Jimmy looks stumped. Some audience members laugh] 

  Jimmy Fallon : ...Uh, ten Samburgers.

  Andy Samberg : [grinning]  I think I could probably get a good deal.

  Jimmy Fallon : [excited, referring to Samberg's impersonations of Mark Zuckerberg]  Ten Zuckerburgers!

  Andy Samberg : Zuckerburgers!

  Jimmy Fallon : Does he have a burger?

  Andy Samberg : [demonstrating with his hands]  It would just be, like, smushed in a laptop?

• [Andy begins the game of "5-Second Summaries" with five seconds on the clock. His card reads "You've Got Mail"] 

  Andy Samberg : Uh, this was a relationship via the Internet. In the '90s.

  Jimmy Fallon : [frowning]  Uh... "Basic Instinct"? I have no idea. I didn't see that one, either.

  Andy Samberg : If it was "Basic Instinct", I would have just gone like that.

  [Andy spreads his legs wide and then crosses them] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Oh, hey, whoa - alright, alright!

• [Jimmy and Andy are playing "5-Second Summaries"; Jimmy chooses his card, which reads "Men in Black"] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Ready? Black guy, white guy, aliens. Sunglasses. Suits.

  Andy Samberg : "Independence Day". Uh, no - "Men in Black"!

  Jimmy Fallon : [taps the bell]  Yes!

  Andy Samberg : [grins at the audience]  I just watched "Independence Day."

  Jimmy Fallon : Same plot. Same plot.

• [Jimmy and Andy are playing "5-Second Summaries"] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Now, this round, to make it a little tougher, we only have 3 seconds.

  Andy Samberg : [alarmed]  Why?

  Jimmy Fallon : Yes! Because it keeps - you need to put people on the edge.

  Andy Samberg : I'm already all the way on edge!

  Jimmy Fallon : We gotta keep the *viewers*, Andy. Three seconds.

  Andy Samberg : If I was any more on edge, I'd be Bono!

  [He winces at his own pun] 

  Andy Samberg : Almost!

• [Jimmy and Andy are playing "5-Second Summaries"] 

  Andy Samberg : Here we go. Three seconds on the clock. The impossible game for burgers that will never be bought.

  Jimmy Fallon : [laughing in protest]  I will; I'll buy them! I promise.

  Andy Samberg : I'm never gonna eat ten burgers! Alright, here we go.

  [Andy picks up his next card, which says "Con Air"] 

  Andy Samberg : [impersonating Nicolas Cage]  "This plane is going down!"

  Jimmy Fallon : Nicolas Cage! Uh, sometime of one of those things, when the plane is going down. Oh, uh, uh... "Con Air"!

  [They high-five] 

• [Jimmy and Andy are playing "5-Second Summaries"] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Three seconds.

  [He chooses a card which says "The Expendables", and launches into a deep-voice Sylvester Stallone impersonation] 

  Jimmy Fallon : I'll tell you what, we'll, I'll get dees explosions, and...

  Andy Samberg : Uhhh... "Expendables"?

  [Jimmy bursts out laughing and high-fives Andy] 

  Jimmy Fallon : We're rooting for each other to win!

• [Jimmy and Andy are playing the game "5-Second Summaries"] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Final Round: Let's put *one* second on the clock. You gotta keep people on the edge!

  Andy Samberg : [outraged at being dropped from 5 seconds to 1]  For - who is this FOR, one second on the clock?

  Jimmy Fallon : This is on the edge. You gotta keep people on the edge of their seats.

  [Andy heaves a big sigh of mock disgust] 

  Jimmy Fallon : Ridin' the line. You gotta ride the line sometimes, my man!

  Andy Samberg : Is it bad if they're so far on the edge of their seats that they leave?

  Jimmy Fallon : They might fall on the floor, but that's what you want!

  Andy Samberg : Alright. Mm-hm. One second.

  Jimmy Fallon : One second.

  [Andy has a hand on a card but has not yet looked at it] 

  Andy Samberg : If I get this, and you guess it, does that mean I get the burgers?

• [Jimmy and Andy are finishing the game of "5-Second Summaries"] 

  [Andy picks up his last card, which reads: "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"] 

  Andy Samberg : Uh - Honey Nut Cheerios!

  Jimmy Fallon : Honey Nut Cheerios? I'm in the Cheerios - "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"!

  [Jimmy runs around his desk to hug Andy. They have both won the game]