Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, Dr. Linksano, Harvey Finevoice, 90s Kid

Quotes 

• Linkara : Hello, and welcome to "Atop the Fourth Wall", WHERE IT'S OUR SIXTH-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

  [a heavenly choir is heard while a fireworks effect is shown] 

  Linkara : Seriously, how am I getting that fireworks clip to play while I'm in here? Erm, anyway, as is tradition, it's time for another Clone Saga review and our continuing coverage of Judas Traveller, the most worthless Spider-Man character ever! I mean, for crying out loud, even Kaine - Kaine, with the most generic villain name ever made, he has come back in recent years and taken the name "Scarlet Spider". I actually started reading his solo series right before it was canceled. It was actually pretty good. Think about that: Kaine, the Spider clone who didn't even get to have a spider-based name, was worth bringing back, but Judas Traveller is as forgotten as the new Doctor Octopus and her virtual reality crap. Speaking of new characters, today's review covers a storyline that takes place directly after last year's "Crossfire", separated only by an issue focusing on the NEW HEROIC GREEN GOBLIN! He lasted about a year, did some other stuff in civilian form, and apparently had a mental breakdown and became a villain. As you do. That's what happens to secondary hero characters that nobody cares about, really. They just get turned into villains, making what few villains they did have pissed off. But anyway, yeah, no new backstory to cover here, except for the fact that in that in-between issue, Mary Jane sewed up a new Spider-Man costume for Peter, so he's out of the Scarlet Spider duds, and Ben Reilly is currently in prison, awaiting trial for crimes Peter Parker allegedly committed.

• Linkara : We start things off in "Web of Spider-Man #126". You know, I'd really like to know where the hell they think of the titles of these spinoff books. Despite that title, this comic is not about Spider-Man's webs!

• Linkara : What does it say about Peter Parker's life when the Clone Saga is not the most pants-on-head crazy thing that's ever happened to him?

• Linkara : We open with... Wait! It's a Spider-Man book; you get one guess about what he's doing. Say it with me, kids...

  [he holds up his hands and dances in place childishly] 

  Linkara : Spider-Man swinging around the city! You know, it's a good thing his webs dissolve after an hour. Otherwise, by this point, New York would be "the web of Spider-Man".

• Linkara : Kaine's attacking Peter for getting himself into all of this, even though by doing so, he makes it so Peter can actually find him. Uh-huh... It's a rare occasion when the villain could have won by simply doing nothing.

• Kaine : [to Spider-Man]  Your mistake was involving yourself in matters that don't involve you!

  Spider-Man : Don't involve... YOU FRAMED ME FOR MURDER!

  Kaine : Reilly, Peter! I framed REILLY!

  Linkara : [as Kaine]  I framed the guy who shares your DNA and fingerprints that the world at large doesn't know exists!

  [beat] 

  Linkara : Okay, upon reflection, that was kind of a stupid plan.

• District Attorney : Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, as District Attorney, one of the functions of my office is to bring to justice those individuals who ignore the rules and regulations set down by our society.

  Linkara : Oh, now it's *our* society! When we bought it, it was *your* society!