Chasseurs de dragons (TV Series)

Unwelcome Guests (2006)

Rick Jones: Gwizdo, Hector

Quotes 

• Gwizdo : What is it with Jeanneline? She's actin' strange. Real strange. She hasn't been herself for the past few days. She's actually bein' nice to me!

  Lian-Chu : Well, it's almost Fiddlemas day.

  Gwizdo : What's that got to do with anythin'? Fiddlemas is no big deal, and sure, it's a nice time of year, but...

  [the revelation dawns on him and he smacks himself on the head] 

  Gwizdo : Oh, right, I remember! It's her wedding anniversary, isn't it?

  [Lian-Chu nods] 

  Gwizdo : In fact, it's all her wedding anniversaries. All three of them. Married three times, always on Fiddlemas day. Ah, why does she keep on getting married?

  Lian-Chu : It's the triumph of hope over experience.

  Gwizdo : Some triumph. It always ends in tears.

• Gwizdo : We're not married yet and she's already cheatin' on me!

• [Gwizdo is woken by a tremendous thump. He sits up, puts on his pilot's cap, yawns and begins to drift off again before another thump wakes him. There's a growl. Gwizdo reaches for the chamber pot and bends over it. A giant horn comes up through the floor and the chamberpot just as Gwizdo reaches for the buttons on his pajamas. Gwizdo reels and lands on his behind, now facing the chamber pot. He looks around, panicked. The horn goes back through the floor, and Gwizdo's foot slides into the chamber pot. The horn comes up back again, narrowly missing Gwizdo] 

  Gwizdo : Chatterin' chamber pots!

  [the horn pierces the floor again and again. Gwizdo clings to another horn that had come up through the chamber pot] 

  Gwizdo : It's a B-B-B-B-Borback!

  [the horn narrowly misses him again and again] 

• [Gwizdo goes tumbling into the main hall] 

  Gwizdo : Oh boy! You gotta help me! Oh my gosh. In the kitchen... I-I could be wrong. But I-I think that she thinks that the- Oh my goodness! No! I gotta be mistaken. Please... Ohboyohboyohboyohboy... Now, don't get me wrong, I like livin' here. That's not the issue. The rent's okay, if I ever pay it, and let's face it, I'll never pay it... And sure, Jeanneline's a woman of charm. Well, Jeanneline's a woman. Okay, she's Jeanneline. What I mean is, I-I like her, but, uh-h-h... SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME!

• Jeanneline : He is the nicest, loveliest, kindest, handsomest, richest man I have ever met. And he's going to be just like a father to you.

  Gwizdo : He's only after your money, you know.

  Jeanneline : No, he's not!

  Gwizdo : [scoffing]  He is an ugly brute. If I was that ugly, I wouldn't come out during the day! No looks, no charm, the guy's a pig.

  [Leopold grunts] 

  Gwizdo : Sorry about that, Leopold. He's got far less appeal than a pig. Of course, you saw right through him, Jeanneline. You're not gonna marry that two bit lose-

  [Jeanneline punches Gwizdo in the face and sends him flying into a wall] 

  Jeanneline : How dare you speak of the man I love like that!

  Gwizdo : [dazed]  I'll get us outta this... I'll think of somethin'...