- Ryan Stiles: [in "Greatest Hits"] You know, Col, I don't know if you remember, but a couple years ago, my wife and I came out to visit you and your wife in Toronto, which reminds me of our next musical style: Swing.
- Wayne Brady: [in "World's Worst", about presidential candidates] What can I do for you?... Nothin'.
- Colin Mochrie: I can see Russia from my house.
- Gary Antony Williams: Well, we're gonna have a lot of holidays, uuummm... and perfumes... aaaaaand, that's all.
- Ryan Stiles: Let's get this out of the way right now: She is NOT my first lady.
- Gary Antony Williams: And I promise EVERY black man a white woman!
- [Wayne mimes handing him money]
- Gary Antony Williams: That's right, thank you sir!
- [both leave the stage; Colin enters and struggles to speak before miming vomiting]
- Wayne Brady: When asked how I'll balance the budget, well, it's better if I show you than tell you about it...
- [mimes juggling while on a unicycle]
- Ryan Stiles: Hello, I'm Mitt Romney.
- Gary Antony Williams: Sometimes, a president just has to take time out of his life to kiss a baby.
- [mimes making out with it; Wayne enters pretending to be the parent and snatches it away]
- Gary Antony Williams: It's what I DO.
- Ryan Stiles: [with Colin pretending to be his ventriloquist dummy, moving his mouth with Ryan's words] So, I hope you'll consider us for president and vice president of the United States. Right, Jerry?
- [Colin rotates his head]
- Gary Antony Williams: Get ready, America, 'cause I'm about to get presidential ALL up on you.
- [unbuttons the bottom half of his shirt]