Silicon Valley (TV Series)

Binding Arbitration (2015)

Zach Woods: Donald 'Jared' Dunn

Quotes 

• Donald 'Jared' Dunn : It's a classic document dump. But what they didn't take into account is the power of us. So grab a box, guys. Start pulling anything you think is relevant. And you may have to work pretty hard, but it will free us from this lawsuit.

  Bertram Gilfoyle : Are you saying, "work will set you free"?

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : Yes. They have the manpower. We have the perseverance. Triumph of the will.

  [Leaves] 

  Dinesh Chugtai : He's the most cheerful person I've ever heard quote Hitler.

• Bertram Gilfoyle : Jared, you want that egg to be alive, right?

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : Of course.

  Bertram Gilfoyle : Well, right now, because you don't know whether it is or not, it exists in both states, like Schrodinger's cat.

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : Like what?

  Bertram Gilfoyle : It's a quantum mechanics thought experiment that an Austrian physicist came up with to help understand quantum states. So he imagined putting a cat into a box with poisoned food. There's a 50/50 chance the cat eats it.

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : That does sound rather Austrian.

• Dinesh Chugtai : Hey, has anyone heard from Richard? Should I text him to see how the arbitration's going?

  Bertram Gilfoyle : Uh, you can. But right now it's going both well and poorly. And if you get definitive information back and it's bad, I could argue that you have effectively caused us to lose the arbitration.

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : [watching the Condor feed]  Oh, he's taking it down.

  Tech Guy : All right, I am unclipped. If you're watching, I'm sorry. I'm gonna go ahead and leave this egg here. This camera does need to come down.

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : That's good. He's leaving the egg.

  Bertram Gilfoyle : You should have never called that museum, Jared.

  Tech Guy : The bolts are all rusted out here.

  [Jiggles them] 

  Tech Guy : They're on there pretty good.

  [Tries to pull it loose] 

  Tech Guy : AHHHHAAAA

  [He looses balance and rolls down the cliff, Jared watches, stunned] 

  Bertram Gilfoyle : Holy shit. Jared, you just killed that guy.

  Dinesh Chugtai : I just got a text from Richard.

  [Look at the feed] 

  Dinesh Chugtai : I'm not gonna read it.

• Donald 'Jared' Dunn : I think I just made a mistake. That was the museum. I decided to call and check on the condor, and they said that it's very unlikely that the condor egg is still alive. But my phone call itself drew their attention to their low viewing numbers and they've decided to take down the cameras today.

  Bertram Gilfoyle : So by making the phone call, you've most likely killed the condor egg.

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : Oh, come on, I mean, that Schrodinger stuff's all just theoretical. It doesn't apply here.

  Dinesh Chugtai : Doesn't it? I mean, look at Richard. He didn't know that he had tested on a Hooli computer until Monahan opened that box of emails, right? So Richard was both innocent and guilty, but as soon as Monahan opened that box, it made Richard guilty.

  Donald 'Jared' Dunn : But, I mean, by that logic, anyone who goes to an open-casket funeral is a murderer.