Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV Series)

Defense Rests (2015)

Andy Samberg: Jake Peralta

Quotes 

• Jake Peralta : My lady left me.

  Captain Ray Holt : My lady stayed.

• Jake Peralta : I should not have gone to that party. I shouldn't have gone to that bathroom. I should not have arrested her boss.

  Terry Jeffords : I don't see it that way. You did everything right. You were a good cop.

  Jake Peralta : Good lonely cop.

  Terry Jeffords : Hey, man, you put yourself out there. You weren't breezy. You like Sophia, you fought for her. You should be proud.

  Captain Ray Holt : No, you should be changing her auto-correct. What's her last name?

  Jake Peralta : Perez.

  Captain Ray Holt : No. It's "Butt" now. Sophia Butt.

• Jake Peralta : All of our worst enemies are here. Brown hair guy. Pony tail lady. Asian Don Cheadle. I refuse to learn their names because it humanizes them.

• Jake Peralta : The Association of Brooklyn Public Defenders, A.K.A. The Chamber of Asses. No, wait. That's too sexy. The Chamber of Snakes.