Family Guy (TV Series)

Quagmire's Mom (2015)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : [after someone pointing out his checkbook doesn't have anything written in it]  Lois, why DON'T my checkbooks have any writing in them?

  Lois Griffin : Well, Peter...

  Peter Griffin : What?

  Lois Griffin : That's just a wide pad of post-its I gave you.

  Stewie Griffin : WHAT? So that million-dollar check you gave me yesterday is no good? I quit my job, man!

  Stewie Griffin : [cut to Stewie flipping his co-workers off]  I will NOT see you Monday!

• Lois Griffin : [When Peter throws a party]  Peter, what the hell is going on?

  Teenager : [to Peter]  Oh, dude, is that your mom?

  Lois Griffin : No, I'm not his mom, you little bastard.

  Peter Griffin : That "little bastard" knows how to smoke pot out of an apple.

• Lois Griffin : Glenn, what the hell's going on?

  Glenn Quagmire : It turns out that girl I took home from Peter's party last night is in high school.

  Peter Griffin : Oh, my God! Does this mean you're gonna move to Europe to make movies?